Game:

Last Action Hero (1993)

Duration: 8:14

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3

This game sucks.

If you thought the movie was bad, then you'll probably have a heart attack after witnessing this mind-rotting shit.

So what's the problem? Well apart from having graphics that look like they were fashioned from crude patterns found in animal excrement, the combat (the most important aspect of the game) is fucking terrible!

You have two moves: a punch, and a kick. the punch is fast with a short range, and the kick is slow with... a short range. Oh, great, I can see the use for that.

The kick is useless. It's too slow to get the first attack in on the knife guys, so you get cut to ribbons while your character demonstrates possibly the worst dance I've seen, and it's also out of range of the baseball bat guys. So they take a swing and beat you to a pulp whilst you're flapping around like a retard, showing off the latest moves.

So that leaves the punch. Again... You have to get too close to land a strike. So you get hit and thrown back some four metres with every attack, and the sequence repeats until you die. And die you shall.

Your only choice is to jump over them and hit them after you land, but even then that's easier said than done because of the abysmal hit-detection! My fist goes through a guy's face on several occasions, and the ugly son of a bitch just stands there like nothing happens!

Who the hell commissioned this piece of shit? Why did they? And how the fuck did they get away with it?!