Endeavour - GameDev

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Published on March 3, 2024 4:55:07 PM ● Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZU59AUMuOR8

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A lot of the stuff that I've discussed regarding games, gaming, and various projects have disappeared from the Internet. Many sites are gone forever, IRC doesn't keep logs (although I might have some logs on my old hard drive), and stuff has a habit of fading away unless it's something important or noteworthy. I have a little saved myself and I've found a little on the Wayback Machine or just by trawling through forums and sites.

What little is left (not sure if gamedev had some kind of a purge since most of the stuff is gone...) is not much to show off and it only scratches on the surface of where I spent my time, the people I was talking to, and the topics we talked about, but at least it's something. Apparently some people have had a hard time understanding that I've been doing this for quite some time, since the 90s when it began as an interesting hobby, since the early 00s when I became passionate about it, and since the late 00s when I literally did not have a choice.

IRC, Planet Quake, Planet Half-Life, MSN, ICQ, GameDev, DevMaster, TELP, Celestial Heavens, Irrlicht, RPG.net, OGRE, DarkBasic, several Finnish RPG forums, a few forums for Quake and Quake World—in a rough chronological order—and plenty more, a whole bunch of places where I have always been open and sincere with what I do and who I am.

Pretty much all of my friends online have known that I am an amateur in game design/development, computer engineering (or whatever I should call it), and linguistics. Sadly I've lost touch with most of my friends online, they found their lives while I continued my path.

I have not had a nice vocational job since I was 18 (turned in 2003), and my plans for becoming an engineering and starting a family ended up in ruins for certain reasons. My projects were my way of working despite not "being allowed" to contribute to society. Maybe that's a bit passive-aggressivebut it's how I view it, I wanted to belong and be a part, but was stomped down when I was just 16. Whatever, it sucks, deal with it, move on, AND PLAY THE CARDS YOU WERE DEALT IN LIFE!

To try and deny me the truth and reality that I have lived since my childhood is beyond cruel and is a indication of the evil within the people that I have dealt with. Who knows, I might still find some of my lost accounts online, more than just the usual banter, arguments, or casual discussion of games.