Ex-Girlfriend (10 24 2023)
1Ex-Girlfriend.
Filmed October 24, 2023.
I really miss her but I'm not sure if she feels the same way about me. Actually, she's made it clear she doesn't miss me. So accept it. Move on. I'll meet someone else.
IF she was following me on social media, which she totally was/is, I can see why she might not like me as she once did.
Should I apologize? What should I do? Does she really want nothing to do with me? I don't know why I don't believe it. Maybe I need to.
She moved on 2 years ago. For the past 2 years I've been waiting for Godot to return to save me. I have to take charge of my life. Only I can save myself. Not an ex-girlfriend, not a secret admirer, not even my mother. I have to live my own life.
An unintended consequence of our breakup was me going back to solitude. She did not intend to cause me pain. But it's not my ex-girlfriend's responsibility to live my life for me. I have to live my own life. I have to function as an independent adult. It's my life.
If my ex-girlfriend wanted to come back, my accusations that she's a monster behind a mask who would cause an HIV scare with premeditated intent will drive her away. My delusions would drive anybody away. She's a good person. It was an accident. I'm ruining any chance of love.
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