Gilbert Escape from Drill on ZX Spectrum (Rob's Retro Rambles)
7So, Gilbert escape from Drill, this is going to be a fun one to describe for the benefit of children and foreigners, isn't it? Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin.
Way back in the mists of time, around the mid-1970s or so, long before Saturday morning TV was filled with reruns of cookery shows and chefs trying to cook an omelette in under 20 seconds (if you have to ask, console yourself that it's better not to know), prior to the two making channels showing nothing but sport all afternoon, childrens' tv ruled the roost with interviews with popstars, cartoons and the like, some studio-based presenters having larks in-between, and generally some poorer-paid member of the team sent out each week to mingle with the great unwashed.
When Get Fresh came along in 1986, its schtick was that all the presenters were on a spaceship (the millennium dustbin, named by a viewer iirc) that would touch down in a different beach/carpark/caravan site/tourist attraction of the UK each week, thus causing massive amounts of gridlock in the area as kids from all around flocked to the area to see if they could say hello mum/shout a rude word on live national telly. Obviously, when it came to within 20 miles of us, I asked my dad if he'd drive us there and he (quite rightly) said no, so we watched it on TV instead, feeling slightly disappointed we weren't able to be amongst the cool kids there, but now knowing we probably had a far better experience at home watching Centurions and getting annoyed at someone playing Xenon over the phone and being terrible at it, instead of jostling for attention with hundreds of other screaming kids and wishing we had enough money for doughnuts and stuff.
Anyway, Get Fresh was the show that pretty much introduced us to Ex-Alarm-Roadie Gareth "Gaz Top" Jones (who went on to co-host How2 with TV stalwart and professional Brummie Fred Dinenage and Carol "Countdown" Vorderman and, later on, the Big Bang (no, not THAT one) with his partner Violet "Bad Influence" Berlin) and Charlotte Hindle, who appeared on the also great No 73 (with Sandi "News Quiz/Qi/Bakeoff" Toksvig) and the slightly less great spinoff 7T3 (without Sandi) before jumping ship to the BBC and co-hosting the 8:15 from Manchester and then moving into producing instead of presenting. She now produces the BBC's Songs of Praise, the signal to kids all over the country that they really ought to be getting on with that homework they were supposed to do this weekend. Songs of Praise's schtick is that they broadcast from a different place of worship each week, singing various Christian hymns. And, while there is someone supposedly looking down from on high, no-one ever beams down any exo-suits to aid in the battle against Doc Terror and his Doom Drones. Sadly, Centurions, this is not. There isn't even a videogame phone-in challenge. Still, give it time, eh?
In the first season, Charlotte and Gaz were joined by professional nerd, Gian "Adrian Mole" Sammarco. He has since left TV and become a professional psychiatric nurse so good on him on that front, I say.
And, finally, we get to Gilbert himself. Introduced in the second season to replace Gian, Gilbert was a disgusting rubbery green alien with an irreverant, anarchic tone and a nose that constantly streamed with snot, ideal for flicking in celebrities' hair and the like (which you can get away with when you're a comedic puppet) and was voiced by Phil Cornwell, who then went on to Glam Metal Detectives, I'm Alan Partridge (as DJ Dave Clifton), half the characters in Stellar Street (i.e. the half not played by John "Oh please give someone else a go" Sessions.) and you may also know him as the voice of Murdoc from Gorillaz.
Gilbert went on to the weekday afternoon kids' show Gilbert's Fridge, then the late night chat show Gilbert's Late. According to Gareth Jones's website, Gilbert now "lives in a silver box in Lea-on-sea."
But before all that, there was this, his very own spinoff game. Which wasn't even anything like Xenon, let alone Xenon played by shouting "Left! Right! Fire!" down a phoneline. (One day I'll find an Amiga disk labelled Xenon that actually has Xenon on it and not Xenon 2:Megablast but that's a story for another time)
And if you'd like to watch A WHOLE EPISODE OF GET FRESH, there's a video on Gareth Jones' own website, right here: http://www.garethjones.tv/getfresh8.html
Wait, come back! Watch it AFTER this one, dimbo!