Kindness Is Compassion In Action. What Is Cognitive Dissonance?

Channel:

Ai Moun

Subscribers:

10,900

Published on September 3, 2022 3:00:00 PM ● Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IqoD9n05Ps

Category:

Guide

Duration: 7:40

13 views

2

How to Survive in a World that's Full of Them

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/ai.moun/
: @ai.moun
Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/aimoun2019
Twitter : @AiWeingken
https://twitter.com/AiWeingken
Displate : https://displate.com/ai1?art=5cbc938617279

😮‍💨Best Value for Money Headset - https://amzn.to/3AISu3E

🤩Lifetime Video Editor License - https://amzn.to/3gcAPb6

😵‍💫Best Antivirus With 3 Years Validity - https://amzn.to/3oezxRo

🧑‍🚀My Trusted Heavy Duty Hard Drive - https://amzn.to/3gcYs37

Hypocrisy is defined as the practice of claiming to have moral standards or views to which one’s own behavior (or the behavior of people in our family or tribe) does not meet. It is a pretense of morality that cloaks our inability to meet some predetermined moral code.


We accuse one person of doing exactly what we are doing but believe that it is somehow “different” when that person does it. It is typically caused by an inflated sense of ego and self-righteousness, coupled with an inability to be humble.


According to experts, it is a form of projection, which is a common defense mechanism that takes root in adolescence. It is a way to protect ourselves from harm. When a teenager is accused of some wrongdoing, he/she might claim “well my brother did it too!” Its purpose is to avoid personal responsibility and to gain control over a situation without admitting any wrong responsibility.

Claiming the high ground, you say things like “don’t interrupt,” as though you never interrupt, “don’t be judgmental,” as though you’re never judgmental, “don’t generalize,” as though you’re not generalizing about their generalizations, “don’t be negative” as though “don’t” isn’t negative, “don’t be unkind” as though it’s kind to summon rules you can’t live by. You summon whatever half-baked moral principle makes your case in the moment.

Hypocrisy doesn’t result from having double standards but pretending you have one standard when no one does.

It’s not just that there’s a time to be negative and a time to be positive. The problem with trying to live by absolute moral principles runs deeper than that. The more positive you are about one thing, the less positive you are about its opposite. If you really love justice, you really hate injustice. If you judge judgment to be bad, you’re judging. If you’re kind to one person, you’re unkind to others since kindness takes effort — you can’t be kind to everyone all at once.

Always be this; never be that. One-side-fits-all rules are easy to remember, fun to preach, useful to wield in arguments, and impossible to follow. We’re least hypocritical when we realize and admit it, and most hypocritical when we ignore and deny it.

We all try to figure out the contexts in which it’s better to be honest vs. dishonest, receptive vs. unreceptive giving and ungiving, etc. That's what we really do and should do.

We don't become hypocrites by sometimes being dishonest, unreceptive, or ungiving, but by pretending that one never should be, as though it’s possible to live by these impossible moral principles rather than admitting that, like everyone, we’re struggling with moral dilemmas, deciding where to be honest and dishonest, where to be receptive and unreceptive, where to be giving and un-giving. That’s the work we’re all doing. What unites us in common cause is trying to do it well.

Attacking each other with one-size-fits-all moral rules is how we become hypocrites; defending ourselves when the rules come back to bite us is how we reinforce our hypocrisy. We declare some impossible categorical rule and then are forced to gerrymander its border in self-defense. We say “Don’t be dishonest,” and then, when caught being dishonest, we say, “I wasn’t being dishonest but tactful. Totally different.”

What Causes Hypocrisy?

At the root of hypocrisy is fear and low self-esteem. We use hypocrisy to avoid looking at our shortcomings and figure out our part in it. It typically stems from a sincere belief that we should not be held to the same standards as others because we have better intentions. Our belief is juster, nobler, and sincerer.


It feels good to be morally superior to someone else. It helps us to avoid humility, which is a very painful emotion. Even the best of us use hypocrisy when we feel attacked. For example, in the workplace, we may enjoy gossiping about our coworker’s poor performance but are secretly concerned about our own job performance. It’s a deflection to avoid dealing with our own problems because we don’t want to be judged.

At the root of hypocrisy is a strong desire to be loved and accepted. The fear of humility and judgment is so powerful, that we use doublethink and cognitive dissonance to avoid facing ourselves.