Game:

Totally Accurate Battle Simulator (2021)

Duration: 1:01:43

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I actually wanted to address the current state of my content at the end of this video, but in the moment I realized that this wasn't the video for that. Instead I'm going to put it off till later. The important thing to make apparent is that I'm not expecting anyone to watch my videos. Each and all of us have our own personal lives and I don't expect anyone to go out of their way to watch my videos. I am more than aware that the current state of my content isn't going to win any awards, I am more than aware that I cannot handle a daily upload schedule at this point. Thing is, I need to prioritize other things right now. And if the state of my "hobbyist" YouTube channel with no where near 40 subscribers suffers the most, that's fine. The adult decision would just be to stop uploading to the channel all together and focus more on the things within my life that can actually have an effect.

That decision has already been made. It's a pity that I never took advantage of the state of the world. If I had, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. While the old gods remained as strong as ever, I suspect a new pantheon will and has already made their claims on this platform. It's a shame that I'll not be in that list of names.

Than again, I've never wanted to just be "another content creator," doomed to find fame and let it spoil me into atrocity. I've always wanted to be an illustrator, a writer. Not a creator of "content," but simply a person who makes things that instill emotion of all ranges. A content creator in this world simply aims to specialize into jokes, japs, & pranks, or shock, cringe, & anxiety. A true creative provides all of these and love, hate, sadness, woe, awe, & nostalgia. I feel as though I've done none of these to the scale of what a true creative's abilities are supposed to be.

With all the weight of what this statement means, I believe that we are given exactly as much time as we need to do the things we are supposed to do in life. The trick is to figure out exactly "what" you are supposed to do. No one will tell you for certain, they will give you ideas, suggestions, but the ultimate decision is up to you. There have been propositions to branch the channel's content to other, more specialized channels. The notions of scrapping it altogether is still on the table, as I said before. Taking a break is always an option.

But much like the proverbial waiting game that is my year to year life, I've decided to keep going. That is, I'm going to keep forward with the daily upload things as best I can until the near year rolls over. After that, there will be a change in schedule and a change in content.

My ambition is still set firmly, though it does not burn brightly right now, the flame seems to be immortal.
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Video Edits made with: Hitfilm Express 16

Gameplay captured with: GeForce Experience

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