The Connection We Crave Breaking Free from Isolation
0Top o' the Mornin' to Ya!
TLDR: God created us as spiritual beings designed for connection with each other, and isolation - even when we appear successful - extends our pain and blocks the synergy and fulfillment that comes through authentic relationships and community.
Are you connected? Are you well connected with people? God created us as beings to be connected with each other, and in that connection, He joins us. If we're coming together in His name, He joins us and He's there with us.
What?
When I was stuck in my addictions, I was alone. I was blocking everyone else out, trying to be superhero superstar - "Look at Brian, he's so awesome and spectacular." I was afraid of connection. I was embarrassed, ashamed of my sin and struggle, and I couldn't let anybody in.
That pain, that struggle, that suffering stagnated - it just stayed there, stayed in me, stayed with me. In Celebrate Recovery, they talk about "extending the pain," and that's exactly what isolation did to me.
I looked like I was connected to people. I looked well involved, like I had lots of good friendships and relationships, but they were all professional, all business, all about showing off and being the best I could be or rather looking like "the best". But I didn't have that real level connection with other human beings, and it was lonely.
I looked successful, and I was proud - and pride presupposes shame. I was covering up the shame, guilt, and remorse, yet I couldn't stop it until I got help, until I came to recovery and came to other people.
Why?
The challenge of connection is our fear of rejection. When we're fearful of rejection, we think "why even try?" But here's what happens: if we don't make the step to connect with people, we shut off. We reject ourselves. We preemptively reject ourselves when we don't reach out.
Some people are going to reject us, but salespeople understand this - they've gone past this level. They realize they're reaching out and helping people, connecting with people, and they're not afraid of rejection.
This is why gangs are so powerful. Even though getting into a gang involves painful trials and hazing - doing unthinkable things to fit in and serve the group - people still want that connection so desperately that they'll endure it.
Lesson
We are spiritual beings who are all interconnected, and we desire, long for, and want to be interconnected. To serve God's kingdom well, to serve our families well, we need to connect with people in our home - kids, wife. If you're single, you need to connect to find that lifelong spouse.
When we're better at connecting, we unlock synergy - like we talked about in The Seven Habits. We need to build out and have that opportunity for synergy, but first we need to get over the fear of rejection.
Let's create the gang of church, the gang of mastermind, the gang of brothers - a band of brothers around you. Find a place where you can be real instead of superficial and create authentic connection.
Sometimes we are the only Bible people will read. People see churches everywhere, signs, invitations. But when YOU give the invitation, when YOU invite someone along - that's a whole different story. They know you, they trust you, they will follow you.
Apply
Create real, live connection and you'll see your fulfillment grow, your success grow, your family grow. Making those outside connections will improve you as a leader of your family, business, community, and church.
Write down in the Doobly Doo the name of somebody you can connect with. This could be somebody you've connected with in the past but want to connect with in a deeper level, or somebody you know from church, work, your neighborhood, board game night - anywhere. Write down at least their first name. Write down who you're going to reach out and connect with. The do it.
You be blessed!
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If you're looking for real connection with a group of eight Christian men in a mastermind where men know, like, and trust each other, speak into each other's lives, and help each other grow as Kingdom Family Leaders, go to https://brian.chat/ and let's start a conversation about the Kingdom Family Leader mastermind.
#Connection #ChristianBrotherhood #OvercomingIsolation #AuthenticRelationships #KingdomCommunity