The Right Way to Praise Focusing on Effort Not Just Talent
0Hey dads! Welcome to Dad Connections in 5, your quick, practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter—one simple action at a time. I’m Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today, we’re talking about the right way to praise your daughter—focusing on effort, not just talent.
We all want our daughters to feel confident and capable. But did you know that HOW you praise her can actually shape the way she sees herself and her abilities?
Today, I’m going to show you why effort-based praise is so important, how it builds resilience, and practical ways to start using it today.
Why Effort-Based Praise Matters
A lot of times, we say things like:
“You’re so smart!”
"You’re a natural!”
"Wow, you’re really talented at that!”
And while those compliments sound great, they can actually have an unintended effect—making her believe that success is about being naturally gifted, rather than about hard work, practice, and growth.
Instead, when we praise effort, we teach her that:
Hard work matters more than being “naturally good” at something.
Mistakes aren’t failures—they’re learning opportunities.
She is in control of her growth and success.
How to Shift from Talent-Based to Effort-Based Praise
Praise the Process, Not Just the Outcome
Instead of saying:
“You’re so good at math!”
Try:
“I love how you kept working through that tough problem—that’s real determination!”
This reinforces that success comes from persistence.
Highlight Hard Work Over Perfection
Instead of saying:
“Wow, you won first place—you’re amazing!”
Try:
“You practiced so hard for this, and it really paid off! I’m so proud of your dedication.”
Winning is great, but the effort is what truly matters.
Encourage a Growth Mindset
When she struggles, instead of saying:
“It’s okay, maybe this just isn’t your thing.”
Try:
“You’re not there yet, but every time you practice, you get better!”
This teaches her that skills are built, not just given.
Praise Her Willingness to Try New Things
If she’s hesitant to try something new, remind her:
“It’s okay to not be great at something right away—what matters is that you’re willing to try.”
This boosts confidence and makes her more open to challenges.
Quick Takeaways: Start Today!
Here’s your challenge: The next time you praise your daughter, focus on her effort instead of just the result.
Notice her hard work and persistence.
Encourage her to see challenges as learning opportunities.
Reinforce that growth happens with time, effort, and practice.
This small shift builds resilience, confidence, and a lifelong love of learning.
That’s it for today’s Dad Connections in 5! If you found this helpful, share it with another dad who wants to empower his daughter with the right kind of praise. Until next time—keep encouraging, keep supporting, and keep helping her grow.
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