This NPC's INSANE Dialogue YOU'VE NEVER HEARD in Oblivion
762What is the most CRAZIEST NPC Hidden Dialogue in Oblivion you've never heard? And why are they missing?
The NPC in question is Alval Uvani is an extremely arrogant & openly evil Dunmer battlemage, strong in the arts of Destruction magic. He travels around Cyrodiil each week, earning his keep under the guise of a "trader". However, Alval has a dark secret being a higher ranking member of the Dark Brotherhood, He will be your target in the quest A Matter of Honor.
Although, unlike other Black Hand targets, such as the essential Listener Ungolim seen praying to the night mother in Bravil
Alval is not only non essential, but also wanders cyrodiil & can be encountered at any time. To make sure the player was somewhat aware of the danger of attacking Alval early,
When you approach Alval, he will make it clear that he has no interest in talking to you and will threaten you by saying,
"You get any closer and I'll turn your bones to ash. Back off."
If you attempt to engage him in conversation, he will refuse to speak to you:
"I have no time for your pathetic attempts at small talk. Now walk away, before I get... nasty."
Alval of course, being a formidable opponent hints its best to wait for his quest to initiate. In which you can learn from one of Mattiew Bellamonts fake deaddrops that its possible to exploit his allergy to honey and paralyze him with mead during one of his frequent bar visits.
If you successfully paralyze him, he will express his frustrations when you approach him saying:
"Can't... Can't move... Body frozen... Must have been... the damn... Mead..."
If you then enter conversation with him while he is paralyzed, he will blame you for paralyzing him:
"No! You filthy guttersnipe! You won't get away with this! By Sithis, if I could only move my arms, I'd rip that smile right off your face!"
This hints that he is involved in the Dark Brotherhood. As well as the dark brotherhood robes hidden in his house.
But what are Alvals hidden dialogue?
well, Two unused lines of dialogue exist for Alval in the Construction Set that cannot be heard during normal gameplay. It seems, due to the danger of facing an unchecked Alval, coupled with the fact he has a cool quest attached yet is not marked as essential. the developers were adamant at driving home the fact that he could eviscerate you where you stand, but would tempt you to try your hand, regardless with some eyebrow raising greetings. The first unused line is a greeting that cannot be heard since his other greetings take precedence over this line of dialogue. He would have introduced himself and discussed his interests by saying,
"Alval Uvani. I'm an evil wizard. I like blowing things up. And I have LOTS of time on my hands, since I'm LOADED with gold. So I blow things up. And burn them. And frost them. And shock the living daylights out of them. But I'm a smart, law-abiding evil wizard, because I only blow up my own stuff. So don't get any ideas about murdering me and looting my gold... Aside from the fact that I'll kick your ass... it's against the law, and you'll rot in jail for it. So how do like THEM apples?"
The second unused line is his response to the Leyawiin topic which cannot be heard since he always exits dialogue immediately after conversation begins. When asked about the town, he would have mentioned that his neighbors complain about him saying: "My neighbors grumble a lot, but what can they do? No law against practicing my skills. Thinking about sticking your paw in my pocket? Go ahead. I'll blow you to cream corn, and the Law will love me for it."
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