YOU CANNOT LIE! - An Atelier Ryza 3: Alchemist of the End & the Secret Key Micro-Review
7A funny Atelier Ryza 3: Alchemist of the End & the Secret Key Review for Playstation, Nintendo Switch (and the future PC version) in 30 seconds by a sarcastic Canadian who talks fast and GENUINELY tries not to hate the things you love. No spoilers and transcript included in description.
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Transcript: Thighs. Thighs. Thighs.
Stupid over-designed characters. Bouncing galore and it’s pretty obvious given how the first thing Ryza tries to teach you is the fucking photo-mode that this series has long since dropped any pretensions as an actual videogame and now exists purely to sell figurines to people who will only buy games that can be played one-handed. But, past the tight red shorts that should by all rights be cutting off circulation to the brain, 3 is actually a fairly interesting and ambitious JRPG that nonetheless probably shouldn’t be played until you’ve gone through everything that came before. And you will. Because if you’re still here, it’s obvious you—