you were so WRONG | Stellar Blade Review in 2025
7🍑 STELLAR BLADE PART 2 – FINAL REVIEW: JUST ADMIT IT. YOU'RE HERE FOR THE BUTT. 🫡🎮
Let’s cut the crap: you didn’t play Stellar Blade for the gameplay.
You didn’t come for the story (because what story? Somewhere between amnesia and boot polish cosplay lore), and you DEFINITELY didn’t show up to master the parry system.
You came here to Goon.
And that’s okay. Because I’m a gooner too.
In this Stellar Blade Part 2 final review + let’s play, I:
Finish the campaign while wondering if any of the writers were conscious
Confirm that combat still feels like Bayonetta’s sleep paralysis demon
Yell about how every cutscene looks like it was directed by a lonely fragrance ad executive
Embrace the butt-first camera angles, the gravity-defying outfits, and the modding community who have turned this into NexusHub: Ass Edition
And ultimately say: gooners, this is your Citizen Kane. Be proud.
Stellar Blade isn’t deep. It’s shallow, shiny, and horny. And guess what? So are we.
💸 If you appreciate honest reviews from someone who beat the game with one hand (emotionally),
👉 Support me on Patreon so I can keep sacrificing my sanity for booby games with mid gameplay and maximum cheek physics.
💬 COMMENT if you skipped dialogue to get to the next slow-mo booty run. LIKE if you’ve installed more Stellar Blade mods than you have hours played. SUBSCRIBE if you believe thighs are content.
📈 SEO THICC FOR THE ALGORITHM GODS:
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Half a Conversation (HaC) is a sarcastic Canadian game reviewer who talks fast and GENUINELY tries not to hate all the things you love.
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