| 1. | Elden Ring but I kill mommy finger from the finger family (Metyr, Mother of Fingers) | 73 | | Elden Ring
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| 2. | Elden Ring but it's a professional speedrun (Putrescent Knight) | 47 | | Elden Ring
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| 3. | Elden Ring but it's Chinese (Divine Beast Dancing Lion) | 35 | | Elden Ring
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| 4. | Elden Ring but I murder a big bug (Astel, Naturalborn of the Void) | 27 | | Elden Ring
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| 5. | Elden Ring but I throw 32 knives (Starscourge Radahn) | 19 | | Elden Ring
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| 6. | Elden Ring but it's 2022's biggest platformer (Divine Tower - Caelid) | 11 | | Elden Ring
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| 7. | Elden Ring but I fight "Ornstein and Smough" (Godskin Duo) | 8 | | Elden Ring
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| 8. | Elden Ring but I kill a large man (Fire Giant) | 7 | | Elden Ring
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| 9. | Elden Ring: The Movie | 7 | | Elden Ring
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| 10. | Elden Ring PvP: The Magic Uchi Experience | 7 | | Elden Ring
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| 11. | Elden Ring but I finally kill the hardest boss (Malenia, Blade of Miquella//Malenia, Goddess of Rot) | 7 | | Elden Ring
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| 12. | Elden Ring but I get penetrated by Messmer's massive spear (Messmer the Impaler) | 7 | | Elden Ring
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| 13. | Elden Ring but I fight Ranni's Aunt Pontiff (Rellana, Twin Moon Knight) | 7 | | Elden Ring
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| 14. | Elden Ring but I slay a snake (God-Devouring Serpent//Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy//Praetor Rykard) | 6 | | Elden Ring
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| 15. | Elden Ring but I establish my own religion (Promised Consort Radahn) | 6 | | Elden Ring
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| 16. | Elden Ring but it's co-op for lonely people (Mimic Tear Ash) | 6 | | Elden Ring
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| 17. | Elden Ring but I speedrun killing a boss (Nox Swordstress & Nox Priest) | 5 | | Elden Ring
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| 18. | Elden Ring but I kill a senior citizen (Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing) | 5 | | Elden Ring
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| 19. | Elden Ring but my opponent is being indecent (Mimic Tear) | 4 | | Elden Ring
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| 20. | Elden Ring but I'm fighting a ghost that had my future job (Godfrey, First Elden Lord) | 4 | | Elden Ring
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| 21. | Elden Ring but it's the βfirstβ boss as a dragon (Draconic Tree Sentinel) | 4 | | Elden Ring
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| 22. | Elden Ring but the madness grows stronger (Midra, Lord of Frenzied Flame) | 4 | | Elden Ring
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| 23. | Elden Ring but I stab a tree's knight (Lorreta, Knight of the Haligtree) | 3 | | Elden Ring
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| 24. | Elden Ring but I blow my load into a boss (Beast Clergyman//Maliketh, the Black Blade) | 3 | | Elden Ring
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| 25. | Elden Ring but I eliminate a bloodbender (Mohg, Lord of Blood) | 3 | | Elden Ring
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| 26. | Elden Ring but I end the life of an ancient dragon (Dragonlord Placidusax) | 3 | | Elden Ring
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| 27. | Elden Ring but I end a man's life (Elemer of the Briar) | 2 | | Elden Ring
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| 28. | Elden Ring but I execute a ghostly deer (Regal Ancestor Spirit) | 2 | | Elden Ring
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| 29. | Elden Ring but I eliminate a dragon man (Dragonkin Soldier of Nokstella) | 2 | | Elden Ring
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| 30. | Elden Ring but I kill Quelaag's fifth cousin (Romina, Saint of the Bud) | 2 | | Elden Ring
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| 31. | Elden Ring: The Return (Patches Boss Guide) | 2 | | Elden Ring
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| 32. | Elden Ring but I fight an old person (Ancient Hero of Zamor) | 2 | | Elden Ring
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| 33. | Elden Ring but I fight a knight (Crucible Knight) | 2 | | Elden Ring
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| 34. | Elden Ring but I fight some ghosts under a tree (Fia's Champions) | 2 | | Elden Ring
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| 35. | Elden Ring but I fight Margit Two, Electric Boogaloo (Morgott, The Omen King) | 2 | | Elden Ring
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| 36. | Elden Ring but I annihilate a commander (Commander O'Neil) | 2 | | Elden Ring
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| 37. | Elden Ring but I slay a man in a volcano (Godskin Noble) | 1 | | Elden Ring
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| 38. | Elden Ring but I commit homocide on a guy under a tower (Godskin Apostle) | 1 | | Elden Ring
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| 39. | Elden Ring but I enter Fia's dreams (Lichdragon Fortissax) | 1 | | Elden Ring
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| 40. | Elden Ring but... it's over? (Radagon of the Golden Order//Elden Beast) | 1 | | Elden Ring
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| 41. | Elden Ring but I kill someone under a tree (Crucible Knight Siluria) | 0 | | Elden Ring
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