Animethon 15 - Tales of the Abyss "The Plague Called Yaoi"
73Empire Productions presents it's first ever Animethon awarded skit!
Thanks to our camera-woman Tear~
Aki - Luke
Mr. U - Jade
Cheat - Asch
Animethon 15, Senior Division Runner Up.
The script is copyright of Akkiko T. and Mr. Unimportant. Please do not take without credit.
Script is as follows:
Luke: Testing... testing... is this on? How does this fontech work? Uh... where's our expert on this?
Asch: Where is Guy anyway?
Jade: I believe he's being chased by fangirls.
Luke: Uh, anyways I still don't know what you see in Natalia. She's such a whiny bi... bi... biiirat!
Asch: Damn even your brain must be seven. At least Natalia has emotions, kissing Tear must be like kissing a statue.
Luke: Ew! Why would I wanna kiss her!?
Asch: And this is why you will never get laid.
Luke: Laid? Why would I wanna get laid? Do I look like an egg to you?
Asch: How could someone so inferior be my replica? Dreck!
Luke: *mumbles* that insult again... Hey Asch! I've been meaning to ask, what does Dreck mean anyway?
Asch: It... uh... it's.... DRECK. *exits*
Luke: Hmph, it's German to Renji Abarai wanna-be. Well, now that I'm alone nothing like advanced algebra to satiate my intellectual cravings. It's so tiresome to have to act psychologically inept in front of my comrades. Damn fandom.
Luke: DAH. JADE. WOULD YOU STOP DOING THAT??
Jade: When you have that heart attack I've been waiting for.
Luke: You're horrible, what do you want?
Jade: Why Luke, I didn't know you understood advanced algebra. Why... are you actually smart?
Luke: *kicks the book across stage* Me? No, no way, I thought it was... how to... light... stuff on fire... for dummies. ... plus one.
Jade: Really now? Well as your senior I suppose it is my duty to educate you on the finer things in life, a duty I have been regretfully neglecting. However, that ends today. Very well Luke, I shall... educate you.
Luke: Uh... what?
Jade: We'll begin with the most important of matters. Luke, someone of your intellectual standing would probably not know the meaning of our kind's most fatal plague.
Luke: ... what?
Jade: You see, being bishounen as we are, we tend to gather an unfortunate amount of attention from the female consumers of our product.
Luke: Our... product?
Jade: Our game, Tales of the Abyss.
Luke: Oh right. Uhm, what kind of attention?
Jade: I'm so glad you asked. Our first lesson will be about... yaoi.
Luke: Ya... oi....? NO. NO WAY. NO WAY IN HELL I'M-!!!
Jade: Ah, so you've heard of it Luke?
Luke: Me? Uh... no, no way. Ye-a-oi? It sounds like a brand of garbage bags.
Jade: Well then if you don't know, I suppose I'll have to teach you. Come to my rooms.
Luke: *freeze* .......... OKAY. ALRIGHT. I CONFESS, I AM SMART, I AM NOT INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGED AND I KNOW WHAT YAOI IS. IT IS A HOMOSEXUAL- IT IS A POPULAR TERM FOR FEMALE- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh GAY PEOPLE!!! ...... I hate you.
Jade: Well at least you've come out of your shell.
Luke: You know... actually, someone having knowledge about my educational standing. This is such a relief! I... I feel liberated! Why would could have an educational conversation right now, we should talk of our philosophies this very moment!
Jade: Ah, ah, ah! Not so fast my young genius friend. I imagine there must have been some sort of reason for hiding your intelligence for so long. We must take this to a private location.
Luke: Of course! It's the bloody fandom!
Jade: ... no staring at the forth wall Luke.
Luke: SHH. It's a lie!
Jade: Very well, shall we retire for our conversation?
Luke: Uh, okay. Sure thing, where's this private location of yours?
Jade: My room of course.
Jade: Ah so brilliant yet so naive.
Luke: Jade, c'mon- Tear-!!
Jade: I'll be sure to fix that as well.
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Tales of the Abyss Statistics For Aki
Currently, Aki has 11,440 views for Tales of the Abyss across 6 videos. Less than an hour worth of Tales of the Abyss videos were uploaded to his channel, roughly 29.56% of the content that Aki has uploaded to YouTube.