Game:

Counter-Strike: Source (2004)

Duration: 14:56

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1

So, the Foyer is a big fat "no" on our to-do list for the time being... those rowdy round-bellied recruits are really harshing our happiness-spreading way of life!

...er, so, I'm sure that when one door opens, that just means a window has opened somewhere else. Well, the only window we can reach is actually just another door, and Telly happened to tell us EXACTLY what we could do to take care of THAT obstacle as well, but we're not currently outfitted to deal with that. (Though we rather easily COULD be, if you've been minding the details so far... AND YET WE WILL IGNORE THIS FACT!)

Much more immediately apparent should've been the fact that being inducted into Drake Redcrest's fellowship as the 99th Space Hunter affords us certain responsibilities... and opportunities for mischief, because we can now totally impersonate Drake for reasons most dastardly! (What do you mean this is totally against Space Hunter protocol?!) Sophie's not THAT easy to fool, though... she won't fall for your dapper disguise all that readily! You'll need to prove to her that you've mastered ALL the vital maneuvers of the Space Hunters... namely the ability to pose like Drake Redcrest! ...er... is there anything else to him? (I don't foresee Chibi-Robo learning to monologue semi-nonsensically in the same way with only two modes of expression... three if you count silence!)

However! ...there's a really big drawback to all this that I honestly didn't see coming... that DYNAMIC POSE comes at quite the hefty toll! It takes 30.0 units off your battery gauge, so... you can see that we're suddenly in quite the predicament! ...gotta... ... ...slowly... just... barely reach... that painfully near power outleeee--CRASH!

...oh... oh no! Man, that's... actually quite crushing! Our chibi little robo-buddy just comes to a total standstill and falls over under his own weight. I... I just don't... *sniff*... I wasn't ready for THIS! (I didn't want... THIS!)

... ... ...okay, fine, I'm being just as overdramatic as Telly, but I honestly DID expect something way worse, up to and perhaps including a (non?)standard game over and being booted back to the title screen... As it happens, you lose 20% of your Moolah, are taken back to the Chibi-House (so you COULD lose physical movement-based progress and the time and energy required to get that far again, I guess), and lose absolutely nothing else...not even Happy Points or time left in the day! (At least until I find out otherwise.)

As it happens, there are certain... "benefits" to being rendered inoperable by inattentiveness to battery gauges... namely, you're granted another costume AND the ability to buy Chibi-Batteries... although in all seriousness, you won't really WANT them per se, they're just nice things to have if you're interested in things like that... (And, of course, posing with this new getup will ALSO cost you 30.0 units of battery life! ...it's crushingly adorablaumatic!)

Of course, this return to the Chibi-House also coincides rather handily with a solution (small and fleeting though it may be) to the battery life problem. For reaching certain Happy Point thresholds, we will be rewarded by Citrusoft with a complimentary battery life upgrade! Wait, the official excuse is that we reach certain ranking thresholds, but Telly knows exactly what Happy Point totals those will coincide with... which also indicates that they're static rather than real-time, as one would expect based on an actual rankings system... VERY SUSPICIOUS! (Or just convenient numbers winning out? You decide!)

Anyway, this has all been super-enlightening and upgradening, even if it was purely incidental and totally unrelated to what we were TRYING to accomplish. To the next room and the unknown!

It's the Kitchen! I wonder what kinds of neat adventures we'll get into here! ...well, not especially many new ones just yet, I suppose. (Is it weird that I'm already growing numb to the weirdness of the Chibi-Doors? ...maybe not the battery cost, but that's at least more manageable than posing all day long...) We can't really reach that many places because of a lack of obvious means to make some upward progress... Sophie! It's super rude to leave drawers extended like that while you go Drakegazing!

Hey, wait! That looks like the sticker we saw on the window Telly was telling us not to shoot with the Chibi-Blaster we didn't have at the time... I wonder if it works on ALL stickers, or just the broken windows underneath? ...might as well give it a shot! (I... I'm sorry. I won't do it again... ... ...for awhile.)

Unfortunately, just as we seemed to be making progress fully testing our boundaries, the night is just about over! ...who knew that exploration could be such an exhaustive effort (both for our battery AND time itself)? It seems I wasn't being too ridiculous when I bought that time extension at the earliest opportunity after all! (Good night, sweet chibi-prince!)

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