Duration: 26:30

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7

(retimed to 5:53.44) I had a 6:29. I watched in absolute despair and agony as my good friend and close ally in the war, IGINLAJ, beat my time by a whopping 12 seconds. I was shocked, crying. I had to beat him back. I whipped out XSplit and recorded attempts for roughly an hour. I was losing hope, drowned in frustration and urine, seeking some sort of truth; nay, an answer. I looked deep within. I found the strength I needed to push on. At last, on attempt 66, it happened. The elusive sub 6 minutes was finally mine. It's not often a great victory like this happens, especially to somebody so smelly. But, all good things must come to an end, so I'm going to stop writing this heart-wrenching description of this world record speedrun.