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Conspiracy theories am I right?
Remastered and reworked

#ai #music #monopoly #theydontwantyoutoknow #conspiracy

Ladies! Gentlemen!
And everybody in between!
Welcome to the Snakepit Scene.
Name’s Over-Under Sally,
and I’ve been given
the keys tonight.
Revolver’s out
makin’ trouble elsewhere,
So I’m here to tell you
what’s REALLY wrong out there.
Oh don’t gimme that look,
sweetheart you trust me,
don’tcha?
Now listen close:
you ever try to use a payphone?
Ever try to send a fax?
Ever try to buy
a train ticket
to Toledo and they tell ya
sorry, no tracks?
That’s right
railroads are vanishin’
Payphones are disappearin'
Fax machines extinct!
But nobody’s asking why!
You oughta ask why!
Well I’ve got the scoop, darlin’
And it’s a name
you already know.
One you’ve seen your whole
life but never trusted.
The Monopoly Man.
That’s right!
Rich Uncle Pennybags himself.
Little top hat,
little cane,
big fat smile?
He’s REAL.
And he’s buyin’ up
every railroad,
every payphone booth,
Every fax line in this country.
Bleedin’ the middle class dry
so he can hoard
Free Parking for himself!
And they say he’s just
a game piece?
Look closer
ever see a photo
of a boardwalk
where he wasn’t lurking
in the shadows?
He’s the one
tearing up the train tracks
in your town.
He’s the one
bribing mayors
to rip out
phone booths.
He’s the one
sending midnight thugs
to smash fax machines.
Oh yeah,
you think he’s just some
Parker Brothers prank?
OPEN YOUR EYES.
He’s got hotels
goin’ up on your land
and YOU’RE PAYIN’
THE RENT!
But don’t you worry
Snakepit Sally’s
got you covered.
That’s right
for three easy payments
of $49.95,
You can OWN
your power back.
With my patented
Inflatable
Confidence
Ladders.
That’s right
big, shiny,
inflatable ladders.
Put one on
your front lawn,
Watch your neighbors
respect you.
Watch Monopoly Man
take a detour.
Climb right outta the hole
he put you in!
Why?
Cause everyone loves
a man with a ladder!
Look at that
they’re callin’ in already.
Phones are lightin’ up.
You’re not laughin’
at me now,
are ya?
That’s what I thought.
So don’t let
Uncle Pennybags
steal your town
Don’t let him tear
your train station down
Don’t let him smash
your fax in the dark
Get yourself a ladder
and leave your mark!
Inflatable
Confidence
Ladders
Order now,
before he builds a hotel
on your soul!