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I once told a teacher that my dad rides a chainsaw to work, when I meant that he rides a motorcycle. My 5-year-old brain somehow conflated motorcycles and chainsaws, which were both dangerous machines my dad owned. Anyway, one day after a long ride, my dad came back and, mesmerized by the chrome of the motorcycle's engine, I reached out my little hand and touched the scalding hot metal, burning my palm quite badly. Anyway, my mom used that incident as leverage in order to win the ongoing motorcycle debate, which was a shame. My dad did eventually start riding motorcycles again, but not until I was in my mid-20's. Anyway, just picture a man riding a chainsaw to work every day, though. Pretty hilarious, right?