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Reflection Title: Looking backward can move us forward!

Book – The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

Book Description:
Somewhere out beyond the edge of the universe there is a library that contains an infinite number of books, each one the story of another reality. One tells the story of your life as it is, along with another book for the other life you could have lived if you had made a different choice at any point in your life. While we all wonder how our lives might have been, what if you had the chance to go to the library and see for yourself? Would any of these other lives truly be better?

Reflection:
The Midnight Library was yet another book that my wife, Felicia and I, finished together. The Compound Effect of this journey never ceases to blow me away when I type sentences like that! Never in my wildest dreams, pre-Emilia, did I think I would find myself on a regular nightly walk around the like park with Felicia and Luca while listening to an audio book on a portable Bluetooth speaker, let alone 12 and counting.

At this point in time, I think we are officially the weird family that people pass on the street as we are playing some random audiobook and think, “What the hell are they doing? That family is weird!” If this is the case, I actually couldn’t be happier! That is exact response that you should generate when you are living your values in all that you do. Living a life filled with activities you care about is counter cultural making which will make it seem odd to others. We are so trained to having our actions dictated by what others value and expect out of us. When you see someone doing something different, it stands out, but that’s the whole point. These are our values that have led us to these activities and that is all I really care about.

Nora Seed, the main character in The Midnight Library, sadly felt stuck in her life as she unsuccessfully tried to seek validation from the outside world that her life had value. She felt lost, confused, and lived a life filled with regrets and if only’s. It got to be so overwhelming for her that she decided that her life held no value in this world, and she tried to end it.

Luckily for her, she got the opportunity to rethink that decision at The Midnight Library where she could try out as many different versions of her lives as she’d like to find the one that brought her the most fulfillment. Each book in the library contained a new life to try out and past what if to explore. She started exploring all the past regrets of her life to see if that would change her outcome and help her find the happy life she so desperately sought. What she found was that life after life was still the same. In each new life, as she explored her regrets of past failed relationships, jobs, hobbies, and dreams that she would put her faith into some external thing to bring her that happiness, but it never came. She tried out life after life until she finally realized that the answers she sought would never be found unless she herself decided to change and take ownership of her happiness. That is when she decided the best decision was to return to her original story / life and take ownership of her own future.

This book made me think of another book, called the Power of Regret, by the author Daniel Pink’s. While The Midnight Library is an abstract and creative look at the power of regret, Pink’s book takes a more scientific approach. Regret is a uniquely human emotion and, per Daniel Pink is the second most listed emotion behind Love. Regret is so powerful that it can push some people like Nora to want to end their own life, or at the same time, has the power us forward with incredible momentum if harnessed correctly.

As Pink says, regret depends on story telling - We are both the authors and actors. So create a new story for your future self, the possibilities are truly endless. Just like Nora, I have so many regrets and what if’s that run through my mind every day, mostly about Emilia. I thank God every day that my regrets didn’t destroy me and that I was able to use them to tell a different story to power my purpose and push me forward. Exploring my past and biggest regrets gave me the opportunity to push forward toward a life of fulfillment and purpose.

If you find yourself struggling in your current life, I encourage you to do the same. Run full steam ahead at your biggest what if’s and if only’s and don’t be afraid to explore your past to find a way to move you forward!

In doing so, I promise you will discover some key insights about what is most important to you in this world and point you in the right direction to living life on purpose!

Question: What key insights would you discover to apply to your future story if you explored your past what if’s and if only’s?