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Reflection:
I really needed this book at this exact moment in my life!

I loved every minute of it. I feel like it was written specifically for me to help me to further solidify my mission in life and remind me how I’ll get there.

I’ve spent 2 years now, slowly but surely, on a quest to better understand myself, this world, my purpose in it, and how I want to live my life to honor my hero, Emilia Quinn Sears. This journey truly began in earnest on the morning of April 22cd, 2020 when Emilia took her last breath in her mother’s arms around 5 am in the morning in our NICU room where we had spent the entirety of her short life of just 39 days.

When we returned from the hospital that morning after losing our daughter, we collapsed in a heap of sadness and exhaustion on our bed while still reeling from the ordeal that we had all just lived through the final 5 days of her life after the complications from her emergency surgery proved too much for her body to overcome.

When I finally awoke in the mid-afternoon on the 22cd, there was not a single thought in my mind other than Emilia. I couldn’t think of anything other than how strong and courageous our daughter is and how she lived each moment in her short life. I couldn’t help but to remember that she never quit no matter what obstacle was thrown in her path. I wrote a short poem later that day in my journal to remind myself of her strength, never quit spirit, and how I felt in that moment.

I vowed on that April 22cd moment to do everything in my power to live like Emilia and endure. To never give up no matter how hard life gets. To fight and live a life filled with value, dignity, and purpose. I did…I got out of bed and forced myself to read a book, write a little, and get back to work on life.

As it turns out, I had just stumbled upon the first track (value) that my little Lioness left me in order to begin my quest to find her again someday…Endure!

The author, Boyd Varty, talks about if you don’t know where to begin when tracking a lion, look for any first track and just begin. On April 22cd, 2020 I found my first track (endure like Emilia) on the trail of values that my daughter had left me to follow her through this life and I’ve been relentlessly in pursuit ever since

If you’ve read my first book, I Can’t Imagine, I talk about how much I love Lions! I’ve always thought of Lions as my spirit animal, and my daughter was unquestionably a beautiful Lioness in her own right. You could just tell from the moment she was born when she put her hand in the air above all the plastic blankets while being wheeled to the NICU as if to, “I got this Mom and Dad”. She was courageous, strong, and beautiful…just like a Lion.

From there, we made sure to make her feel at home amongst her Lion brethren. Her Code Word to see her in the NICU was the word “Lion”, we had stuffed animal lions next to her in the NICU, there were Lions on decorative photo randomly in her hospital room she was placed in, there is a Lion on her gravestone, and her book cover has a picture 3 Lion’s with one as a little cub that was taken from the mural we had painted in her nursery preparing for her to come home.

As I was reading this book, I couldn’t help but to start to see the visual forming in my mind of myself as a Lion tracker. I saw myself in the South African bush, wearing safari clothes, and intently focused on tracking my daughter and following her trail. However, instead of looking for paw prints as my next clue, I saw values along the path.

That is exactly what I’ve been doing these past few years every day since we lost her. Tracking my little lioness and finding values she left along the way of how to live a life of purpose and meaning…just like Emilia had showed me how to live during her time here on Earth. Following the trail she’s left so far has led me to discover my what I care about most in this life. So far, I’ve identified the values of Endure, Balance, Learn Something New Every Day, Give More Than I Take, Humility, Integrity, and Play.

I’ve never been more fulfilled in my life than when I’m chasing and tracking Emilia by living my values. On this trail is where you will find me for the rest of my days. As the author says in the story, “I don’t know where I’m going, but I know how I’ll get there!” Living a life of values is how I’ll get to wherever this journey takes Emilia and I.

She somehow had it all figured out in just 39 days on this planet! It still blows my mind to this day how she knew so much in such a little time.

My whole life, I’ve always thought of myself as a Lion, however, I think I may have gotten it wrong. I think Emilia is the true Lion of the family and I guess I’m just a tracker, and I couldn’t be happier to follow her trail for the rest of my life!

Question: Are you keeping your eyes open for your first track?

PS – The Year of Magical Learning Book Cover was inspired by this book and reflection. Thanks Boyd and Keep tracking!