Argylle - Movie Review
2"Argylle" (2024) directed by Matthew Vaughn is actually shockingly bad. I usually don't watch trailers but this one had popped up so many times in advertisements that I was aware of what was marketed, and let's just say it felt like false advertisement.
Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) is a spy novel writer. She is apparently so talented that her source material ends up being strangely identical to real world events. Elly starts to accidentally write about real life criminal doings and this prompts the bad guys to go after her. Elly is protected by a real life spy named Aidan Wilde (Sam Rockwell).
Wow guys, just wow. Argylle is so off the rails and is pretty much just one giant illogical stupid mess which is bent on trying to subvert your expectations as much as possible regardless of whether it makes sense or not. The amount of times that a bait and switch occurs is honestly frustrating and made me roll my eyes over and over again. The story continues to derail and escalate into pure fantasy and it begs the question of whether the entire film actually happened or if it was all actually just a fake novel, at least if it was a fake novel then it would make a little more sense or be more forgivable, but I believe most of the events which happen do actually happen in real time.
I can barely even begin to properly pick apart at this one because quite literally everything about it is grand, absurd, and impossible. It felt like false advertisement because Henry Cavill, Dua Lipa & John Cena are barely in it at all and this is not actually a spy movie featuring Henry Cavill, this is a comedy featuring Bryce Dallas Howard. The action in this film is over the top stupid, and unnecessarily glorified for laughs, I remember a time when guns and death were serious things that shocked us in the audience, now it's just a mockery, they may as well be shooting paintballs instead of bullets. Nothing in the film would ever happen in real life under any circumstance, and it really is all pure fantasy despite what they may try and have you believe.
Argylle is genuinely one of the worst big budget ensemble cast features It's actually my father's birthday today and I bought this one as a gift for him, luckily he seemed to enjoy it enough but I made sure to keep my true thoughts to myself as to not disappoint him or down on his parade, but my job here is to be a little more critical than your average moviegoer, and I can confidently state that this one is a must-skip that I implore you not to see even if it becomes freely available via one of your streaming services.
Video by Rainy Nights.
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