I feel like I could talk about this for a long time, and probably didnt explain well all my feelings but I saw it was getting long so...
Other things I forgot to mention I just mean, I know it sounds stupid. Just teh whole fact I have so many fucking girls tell me theyre boyfriend will not let me be friends with them. Like.. 100s probably.. that just.. it blows my mind all the time. Even girls from other countries that I dont know, i sometimes get messages from like boyfriends from other FUCKING Countries warning me to watch out not to ever talk to their gf, when I have no fucking idea who they are even talking about. I know that sounds weird, and it is weird.. and it really kinda bothers me im not sure how to explain...
but sorta cliff notes I sometimes being cool doesnt make you feel that cool. Because as many people that are nice to you, theres constantly people that hate you to for some reason.
And as for the kindness thing well like ive said many times a lot of my regrets in life are being nice. And many times not only did being nice not make me happy, it made me miserable and feel even worse after. And then on top of that even sometimes people thought the act in itself had some ulterior motive which ruins it.
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