BREAKING NEWS: Drifter Slipped into the Traveler’s Bussy #shorts
72BREAKING NEWS: Drifter Slipped into the Traveler’s Bussy #shorts. Hello and welcome, this is Billy Bobman with Turnip Tower News. Our breaking story today is about the Drifter, who apparently got drunk with some friends and accidentally slipped into the traveler’s bussy. Only to emerge hours later with more alcohol and repeating the line “he got to witness this dick!”. The Vanguard is still investigating. Like, how the fuck did he get in there? We have been trying to get in there for the last fucking year.
Speaking of the Vanguard. Ikora Rey and Commander Zavalla found themselves in a heated debate last Tuesday over shampoo imports where Ikora told Zavalla, and I quote: “fuck you, you bald bastard”, while trying to fwip her hair to the side only to realize there was no hair to fwip. She then stormed out and hasn't been seen since.
In unfortunate news, Lord Shaxx was hospitalized earlier this week from a caffeine overdose while shouting at some 13 year old kids in the crucible. Upon his passing, his ghost just revived him, begging the question: why the fuck was he hospitalized in the first place. He’s a fucking guardian.
This has been Billy Bobman with Turnip Tower News. We’ll see you next time. If you have a question about BREAKING NEWS: Drifter Slipped into the Traveler’s Bussy #shorts, leave a comment below.
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