Duration: 3:34

1,001 views

85

Listen to Actor (Remix 1 & 2) by Kai After Kai and Mantar Bhandal on SoundCloud now: https://soundcloud.com/devastjohn

I wrote this song when I was feeling bitter about the dream. I wrote it from a place of (mostly) immaturity and a lot of sadness - and I do feel different now. Not totally different, but I am in a much better place with it. Every single actor on the planet has felt bitter and twisted up about acting at LEAST once. If it hasn't happened to you yet - you're either extremely lucky or extremely new. Yet, the stereotype of the desperate, struggling actor is something we're all so terrified of being. We don't want to be off-putting to anyone who may give us a job, so we pretend to be super-people who can take a lifetime of rejection on the chin for the occasional pot of gold. I wrote this song to express something I felt nervous about expressing in any other way. I'm still a bit nervous about releasing it to be honest.

The main takeaway I hope people have from this is that - it's okay to feel what you feel. It's okay to be confused, or heartbroken, or bitter, or jealous. It's okay to WANT to stop, and it's okay TO stop. Stop if you're no longer finding joy in something. Even if you just stop for a little while to come back to it. It'll wait for you. You have a lifetime of stopping and starting and redirecting and reigniting ahead of you. The fear that you need to accomplish everything before you're 30, 40 or even 50 is a lie pushed to us by a society that gave women a shelf-life and gave men a masculinity complex.

People make their best art when they've got a wealth of experience to create it with.

We're only getting started. Xox