Going For A Walk In The Dark… To Punish Myself Even More.
0I’ve had a very hard past 24 hours. Last night, before I went to bed, I had the feeling that someone was out to get me, but I didn’t know who, and I also had an anxiety attack with chest pains and then an existential crisis. Today, I’ve had continuous chest pains happening all day today, I’m depressed, and I have lost all motivation and confidence. I wanted to sleep earlier, but I forced myself to stay awake. And I haven’t eaten all day either. And I forgot to mention last night, I was laying on my couch, in my living room, pitch black, in the middle of the night, and I was scared. I feel like I’m more sensitive and I fear more easily now. I don’t know if that’s just with the changes I’m making or what. But I literally saw some flash of light shining through my living room blinds, and I was scared to death. I’m not as tough as you think I am. And I’ve had dysphoria pretty much all afternoon. So there you go.
And now I’m going for a walk in the darkness only to punish myself more…