Game:

Death Stranding (2019)

Duration: 16:11

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10

This New Release Friday was supposed to be on the new Hideo Kojima game, Death Stranding... but my mom messed up and bought me something called Man Standing. I appreciate that she tried to get me something nice, but I wish I would have realized before recording an entire video on it. I was just so excited to play the game that I didn't notice it was the wrong game until it was too late.

Man Standing is an awful game. Nothing like what I expected Death Stranding to be. Everything looks terrible, the animations are bad, the quests are boring. WHY WON'T THE CREDITS STOP PLAYING? No one talks in the game and the story is taking way too long to get going. Overall, I don't think even think that Hideo Kojima took part in making this game. If he did then he must have been messed up on some PCP or something. Interacting with people's messages in the game wasn't as cool as I thought it would be, for some reason everyone was saying really crude, inappropriate things or talking about something called "forsen."

Sharks kept on attacking me with poop, which must just be a metaphor for the game itself. I could attack back with poop as well, but they wouldn't stop bothering me while I was having so much fun walking in a straight line for 15 minutes. The soundtrack is ripped straight from some cutesy girl's make-up vlog, but is actually pretty catchy. I will probably rip all of the audio files from the game and add them to my library for further listening. The robot in the base asked me to get some shark eggs, then wanted me to get it a kick ball, and finally requested that I go move a super heavy black rectangle from where it was back to him, then back to where it was. So, the quests really sucked and were definitely made by a third party team instead of Hideo Kojima, though like I said - I am not sure if he even worked on this game.

Overall, don't trust your mom to go and get you a copy of Death Stranding. You might end up getting Man Standing instead, which seems like an inferior game from what I can tell.

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