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We all have those thoughts, that pain that no one else sees...

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Robin Williams' death affected me in a different way than a lot of people. Yes, I also feel the sadness of losing such an amazing legend when he still had so much left to give. But the fact that such a bright light that shined into the hearts of so many people was itself dark on the inside made me stop and admit to myself what I've rejected for a long time; that in a way I'm exactly the same, albeit much much less famous. I love making people laugh, I truly enjoy making others happy and bringing joy into their life. But like I said in the video, it's become a sort of drug that numbs the pain I live with. It wasn't always like this, but I'm probably at the lowest point of it at the moment. That's why Robin Williams' death hit me so hard. Because that could be me if I don't deal with this. While I consider suicide not even an option, as something that solves nothing, the fact is that Robin Williams also felt the same way about it. But his pain grew so much, he hit such a low point that he gave in. I fear hitting that low point. But I'm a fighter, and while I wish Robin Williams didn't have to die for me realize how bad my state of mind is, I am thankful to have this wake up call before it became too late. I will get out of this, I'll regain my joy, I'll get my answers. I will seek help, but I really wanted to make this video not about myself. That's why I made it the way I did, and I explain the truth here because I know most people don't take the time to read these descriptions. Only the people who are supposed to read this will end up reading it. Thank you for doing so, and please don't worry about me. I've gone through a lot, and this is not a battle I plan on losing. But seriously, I made this video the way I did because I know there are others out there feeling the same way who haven't gotten the wake up call yet. I hope this video reaches many of those people, and I hope they seek the help they need. Don't carry your inner struggles in secrecy, let others help you out.

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Music:
Lost Frontier by Kevin MacLeod
(incompetech.com)