Nene learns that the Jurassic is no walk in the Park
642Hololive's Nene Momosuzu plays ARK: Survival Evolved.
Original stream: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpbKcOQRpI0
@MomosuzuNene
It was the day the Raptor got loose.
A veterinarian intern had forgotten to reactivate the electric fence after a routine check up. Our best guess was that the Raptor climbed out of the enclosure some time after the tranquilizers had worn off. We had to shut down the Park. Another guest-gets-too-close-to-dinosaur ‘incident’ was the last thing our already tenuous public image needed.
We had to call in The Pro.
She wasn’t cheap, but if you wanted results, you had to pay for them. She rolled up in her Fisher-Price Land Rover, boxed in like a clown in a ridiculously small car with her knees up by her ears. When she crawled out of the window and stood up, she was of average height. What was not average was everything else about her.
Her eyes were night-vision-goggle green. She had the letters N E N E drawn in Sharpie on the knuckles of her left hand, K I S S on the knuckles of the other. Bandoliers burdened with bottles and jars of mystery fluid criss-crossed her body. I wasn’t sure, but I thought I might’ve seen a jar with a small orange creature inside one of them. I hoped to God I hadn’t. Atop her head rode a rancher’s hat with a phoenix feather tucked into the band. On the underside of the brim, the words ‘O’riends for life’ were branded into the leather.
She walked right up to us, the CEO, the Park Manager, and me, and knocked back a juice-box like it was a straight shot of whiskey before crushing the carton against her forehead and tossing it into the recycling bin from half-court without even looking.
“So, you have a raptor problem?”
We took her to the enclosure. She circled around, sniffing like a wolf checking whether the boundaries of her territory were still pungently marked. She got down on one knee and studied what was supposedly some raptor stool. “Yep. That’s poop all right.” She looked up at us, accusation plain in her eyes. “Which one of you guys did this?”
We looked at each other. After no one confessed, I ventured to say, “I believe that was the Raptor’s doing.”
The Pro stood up, shaking her head. “One of you needs to eat more fibre.”
“It wasn’t one of us!” blurted the CEO. He had an edge in his voice that made us all look in his direction. I locked eyes with the Park Manager and we each sidestepped away from the CEO. “It was the Raptor,” he mumbled at his feet.
The Pro appeared to consider this side mystery solved, at least. She had turned her attention to a trail of three-toed tracks that led from the enclosure to the ferny underbrush beyond. Just at the edge of the jungle, she put her fists on her hips and peered into the beguiling greenery.
“You wanna play hide and seek, huh?” she whispered. “I’d rather play…”
Thunder crashed despite the sky being clear and blue.
“…seek and destroy.”
To be continued…
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