Ninja Gaiden 3 The Ancient Ship of Doom | Ryu Hayabusa | Irene Lew
0What can I say about Ninja Gaiden 3 The Ancient Ship of Doom that you don't already know? Well, if im being honest. I'll just have to split it up into 2 sections and rate it for you.
From a gaming perspective based on the time frame and the 8bit reality that we all lived in at that time, ive got to give this game 4 stars. 4 stars rather than 5 because it is STILL JUST a copy of Ninja Gaiden 1 and 2. The game mechanics have greatly improved. The ability to jump and grab shit is awesome. The fact that you don't go flying everytime you get hit, makes the game manageable. There are far less hawks and for every true Ninja Gaiden gamer we all know that hawk hate is really as fuck and welcome here. Fuck those hawks.
That slash upgrade to your sword makes the hit area larger and most of the targets have a larger hit box on top of that. So all in all, I definately like the mechanics of the game and on playability I have to give Ninja Gaidwn 3 The Ancient Ship of Doom 4 stars.
But...
On story line, I'm giving Ninja Gaiden 3 The Ancient Ship of Doom 1 star.
1 Sad Little Fucking Star.
Wanna know why? Watch the cut scenes! That's all this video is. 20 minutes of cut scenes including the credits. Its just 20 min long, a full 10 min shorter than Ninja Gaiden 1 and 2. But past the shortness of the over all movie and footage, it just fucking sucks.
Spending 20 minutes watching this is 21 minutes too much time. It's soul sucking how bad this is. The Ninja Gaiden 3 cut scenes are possible the worst of any video game ever.
The music gets a 1 star from me too. Fuck this music. Wtf is even that music. Sounds like someone tried to play a broken violin they found in a dumpster outside a burger joint. Like a symphony of homeless people who live behind a McDonald's. The kind of sound you expect to hear at your 6 year old daughter's first violin performance. The one you smile at because you don't want to admit that she's going to have to learn how to do something else she's better at.
Thats how bad this music is. I'd rather listen to pots being thrown down a hallway. Id rather listen to foreigners butcher a local language with the 4 words they know. Id rather be punched in my dick by a gorilla than listen to this music again. Seriously, it's absolutely fucking terrible.
The story line goes something like this.
A guy who looks just like Ryu murders Ryus girlfriend. Right in the beginning. Ryu is of course upset. Not that his girlfriend is dead, but that he's been framed for murder. When he comes to investigate the lab Irene Lew was working on he meets Foster. The CIA fucktard from the first game. Apparently Foster wants to play in the big boy league and decides to take a crack at being a super villain. After Jaquio and Ashtar were murdered repeatedly, Foster realized all their power was just chillin and decided to take advantage of that. So he went off to use this interdimentional portal and make super soldiers he calls Bio Noids. Which alone should get this game a 1 star rating.
Bio Noid alone, is a stand up argument for a single star rating for this game. Is that the best they could do?
Anyway, as you might expect, Ryu murders Foster. Just murders the fuck out of him. Then this CIA fucker named Clancy who we thought was helping us reveals that he just wanted Foster's position and needed Ryu to murder him. So Clancy hops in the dimensional portal and becomes a Bio noid. Whatever the fuck that is. 🙄
So Irene Lew wants to go with Ryu to fight the Bio noids but Ryu is like "naw baby, I gotta handle this one solo. The interdimentional portal is too strong for you." Meanwhile, Irene has a fucking Machine gun and she doesmt give it to Ryu. He goes through an interdimentional wormhole with a SWORD. But as you might imagine, the sword seems to be enough. Ryu goes on to murder countless scores of interdimentional beings before realizing they were transported onto a Ship. Like an air ship but its alive on the inside and metal ship on the outside. Then just as you're about to fight the last bad guy, Clancy breaks down and tries to get you on board with his evil plan but Ryu who is wearing black pajamas, tabi boots, and carrying an antique sword is like, nah bro. fuck you.
So Clancy gets mad cause Ryu dissed, so they fight and Ryu explodes him with the dragon sword.
After the ship is destroyed, Ryu pops back through the dimensional portal and him and Irene watch the sun rise again. Like always.
There are a lot of repetitive elements in this game. But the one thing that's new, is the absolutely horrible music. Mother fucker, it's like someone taking an actual shit in your ears.
I suggest you play the game on mute and listen to anything else. Call your grandma and listen to her sing and tell stories. It'll be better than the Ninja Gaiden 3 The Anciemt Ship of Doom soundtrack.
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