Old and wise (Alan Parsons Project) - a short clip from Instagram by CamillasChoice
160Sweetest cinnamon buns!
I wish to be more active here on youtube and because that has been almost impossible lately, I'd like to explain a little about what's going and also share a "revelation" that I've had :) This will sound like a long written complaint but I swear it's not! Stick with me until the end (IF you have the time and energy, this is a long story)
So since february this year (2021) I've had an insane amount of technical difficulties, to the extent that I have seriously wondered if the universe was plotting against me and my efforts with music. In february, the old computer crashed, and with it all of the music projects, recordings, videos, you name it - was gone. With the help of professionals I was finally able to retrieve the files and bought a new computer. A hefty thing actually, a gaming computer with the power to handle heavy projects and editing video in 4K. The new computer has not been very cooperative, though. There has been problems with every single thing in the process of trying to get back on track. From installing the DAW (digital audio interface), getting the plugins for virtual instruments to work, to being able to hear the mic, guitar, bass, piano in the computer. When I've finally solved one problem, the next one arises. The video files that I recorded with my camera was for some reason corrupted and, as if that was not enough, the new computer started crashing as well. After 3 months of struggling, the new computer was returned to the store for repair this april. Even when the computer is repaired and ready, I have no idea how long it will take for me to get back on track with everything. Possibly I will have to get some professional help even. We'll see.
Through these months since february, I have experienced frustration that has left me in tears, and it sucked the joy out of music making, for long periods of time I couldn't even try to make things work because it made me sad and upset. But I found a turning point that made me grateful at last. When the new computer was returned to the store, I was left with nothing to use for music recording but my phone. And I finally understood the message from the universe that I had been ignoring for a LOOOOONG time.
Very often I find myself picking up the guitar, just playing for fun, and wanting to record something. And then a thought strikes: "If I make a studio recording of this, it'll be so much better". And it causes me to become passive, because in that moment, I might not have time or energy to make a studio recording that takes 5-10 hours to make. So I end up creating nothing. And the universe sent me signs, over and over again... So what did Camilla do? Ignored the hell out of them! But now, I feel like I was invited and guided to simplify, to reduce the expectations, be more allowing. I cannot have the expectation on myself to produce professional sounding recordings and get better for every video, when I work full time and am only able to do this for fun on weekends. And I do everyhthing on my own without help. It's not realistic, it's as simple as that.
So I will listen to the guidance, and simplify. Because of how things are right now, I might not be able to post videos with high quality. And that has to be OK for now. I hope you understand, my friends. I'm so grateful for every single comment and all your support, take care, many blessings. And of course, big swedish hugs!