Sakura Wars: Hanagumi Taisen Columns - Let’s Get “Busy” - MCIHAD
7In this, what I’m pretty sure was our next to last Head 2 Head for the fifth session, we take a perfunctory stab at a little-known puzzle spinoff of an already little-known dating-simulator-cum-turn-based-strategy-game (ooooonly in Japan! WOMP) from the 1990’s, Sakura Wars. (Or Sakura Taisen, for bonus weeaboo street cred.) While the source material features the exploits of perpetually sexually frustrated women spanning an off-puttingly wide age range using the power of Broadway to repel armies of invading demons in a curiously Imperialism-free 1920’s Japan*, this fairly tame spinoff merely sees members of the history-revisionist harem pairing off and attempting to crush one another beneath fast-growing mounds of colorful crystalline prisms. As time proceeds in its inexorable duty to whisk us all to our shared Terminus, the blocks’ plummet gets exponentially faster, the consequences for each minor misstep becoming all the more dire with each passing second. Trouble Planet dives head first into this technicolor crucible, and the results pack all of the ignominy and staggered commentary you expect from an entry in the oft-overlooked Mom, Can I Have Another Dollar? canon.
The only real upside is that we start to sort of meld the events of Pulp Fiction and A Christmas Story in a head canon borne of remembered hurt sustained from Hatris those many moons ago. Personally, I would love to see a shot-for-shot remake of the scene as we described, with the weird kid in the aviator hat being introduced, by way of large-caliber pistol round, to his Living God, while an incensed Samuel L. Jackson demands of his captive victims to say ‘Hatris isn’t bad’ again.
*Not a word of this is fabricated; this is literally what the games are about.
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Hanagumi Taisen Columns (花組対戦コラムス Hanagumi Taisen Koramusu) is a falling-blocks puzzle video game developed by Sega in 1997, as a spin-off from both the Sakura Wars and Columns series by Sega. The game was released in Japan for Sega Saturn and ST-V arcade board.
The game plays like the Columns game series, except you play as members of the Imperial Floral Assault Troupe. Each member has their own strengths and weaknesses as pertains to playing.
As an added bonus, while playing you can perform attacks against your opponent similar to the special attacks in the Sakura Wars series. You can also eliminate some of the lower gems in your area. These can both be performed after creating enough gem chains to fill up your super meter. You can also store your attacks to make them even more powerful the next time you fill the meter. At the third storage, you must either attack, erase some of your gems, or you can store it up to get three butterfly like blocks that the bottom block will eliminate all of one color, whichever color block it touches.
The game ends when either you or your opponent's gem area is filled to the top, leaving no room for more gems.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanagumi_Taisen_Columns
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