Skyrim RP: Ministry of Fists #1

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Robert Dodd

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Published on November 27, 2022 4:52:46 AM ● Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZRgQt48skk

Duration: 37:53

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1

WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE.

INTRO MUSIC: "Future Gladiator" by Kevin MacLeod

Fists Mittens is a minister. He's a minister of the god Zardoz, who in other locations is known for his fond appreciation of guns and his lack of appreciation for reproductive organs. Fists intends to minister to the land through his fists (a surrogate for the gun this world cannot provide) and his knees (to smash into the aforementioned disfavored organs.) He will not use weapons on sentient beings, only on animals. For sentient beings he chastises them with his fists alone.

Fists likes long walks by the beach, reading by the fire on cold rainy winter nights, kittens, long chats about Zardoz, and arranging impromptu dentistry and vasectomy sessions for evildoers. However... everyone is an evildoer in Fists' eyes, including sometimes himself, so it is really a matter of pragmatism as to who gets the lions share of his important ministry. His favorite targets are thieves, murderers (other than himself,) polytheists, witches and really anyone who could be said to have offended Zardoz. Which is almost anyone in Skyrim, really.

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"Zardoz speaks to you, His chosen ones.

You have been raised up from Brutality, to kill the Brutals who multiply, and are legion. To this end, Zardoz your god gave you the gift of the GUN."

~From the 1974 cult sci-fi movie "Zardoz."