Skyrim RP: Ministry of Fists #3

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Robert Dodd

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Published on November 30, 2022 10:25:19 PM ● Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YM2DOs0GImA

Duration: 22:32

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WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE.
INTRO MUSIC: "Future Gladiator" by Kevin MacLeod
ZARDOZ is a creation of John Boorman in the 1974 film "Zardoz."
He is here invoked for comedic purposes only

Fists Mittens is a minister. He's a minister of the god Zardoz, who in other locations is known for his fond appreciation of guns and his lack of appreciation for reproductive organs. Fists will not use weapons on sentient beings, only on animals. For sentient beings he chastises them with his fists alone.

In this episode, Fists has a problem. Without skill in Enchanting, his fists will not be able to keep up with enemies of ever increasing strength, and thus Zardoz will not be served. However, to gain such skills he needs to go to the College of Winterhold, which is full of witches, and witches provoke the wrath of Zardoz. Even more provoking is the thought that HIS OWN SERVANT would dabble in such witchery, even as a means to the end of righteous chastisement. Therefore Fists must choose between one day not serving Zardoz with his fists any longer, or else getting righteously chastised by Zardoz for the sin of associating with witchery. We know which Fists will choose. For it is written: "Whom Zardoz loveth, he must chastise."