Square Enix when they ported Kingdom Hearts to the cloud on Nintendo Switch
6I'm still livid over this. When I found out that Square Enix is going to bring Kingdom Hearts to the Nintendo Switch, I was ecstatic. But then, they told us that it was going to be brought over via the cloud. I was heartbroken, no pun intended. Why spend $90 on something that is cloud-based? Keep in mind that Kingdom Hearts Integrum Masterpiece contains all the games up to this point. Not a bad deal, don't you think? WRONG! The Nintendo Switch is two consoles in one: A home console and a portable console. Playing a cloud game on the Nintendo Switch defeats the purpose. You better have a reliable internet connection to play these games. Once the servers go down, you can't play your game you paid good money for, making it a digital paperweight. What's more, this game came out in 2022. What a way to celebrate the 20th anniversary of a beloved franchise. And you wanna know what's stupid about Square Enix? They've brought Nier: Automata to the Nintendo Switch and they're gonna bring Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII over there. That's not fair! I have nothing against those games, but like I said. Nier: Automata - The End of YoRHa Edition is a remarkable port on the Switch, and that was originally a PlayStation 4 game. There's no excuse not to bring the Kingdom Hearts games to the cloud. Sure, it's understandable, considering KH3 is a graphically demanding game. But 1.5 + 2.5 HD Remix was originally a PS3 game, it's unnecessary! It's a complete mystery on why they brought these games to the cloud. Whether if the original source code was lost, the PlayStation 3 architecture being different, or maybe it's concerns regarding storage, or maybe Square Enix wanting to invest in cloud gaming, we may never know. But it's no mystery that these ports are PATHETIC, even for cloud-based games. If Mortal Kombat 11, Skyrim, and The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt can run natively on Switch, why not this game? This wouldn't be the first time Square Enix would bring one of their games to the cloud. Remember when they ported Guardians of the Galaxy to the Nintendo Switch via cloud-streaming? Bet you didn't know that. What's more, there were other games on the Nintendo Switch this year, including Mario Strikers: Battle League, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder's Revenge, Lego Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga, Harvestella, Nier: Automata - The End of YoRHa Edition, Xenoblade Chronicles 3, Splatoon 3, Kirby and the Forgotten Land, Pokemon Legends: Arceus, Digimon Survive and a little game called Persona 5 Royal. There was no reason to buy these cloud-based games on one of the STRONGEST years of the Nintendo Switch EVER! The $90 price point I've mentioned earlier, didn't help either. Granted you can buy them individually with the first game being $40, and the other two being $50 each, making the $90 price point a $140 value, but the games are still cloud based. Even worse, the most recent patch as of May 2022 shows that you can select either performance mode or graphics priority mode for Kingdom Hearts III + ReMind DLC. It's cloud-based, that's completely unnecessary! Have you ever wondered what it's like to play Kingdom Hearts on Google Stadia? Well, this might be it. Wait a minute, I've heard horror stories of the game crashing and having horrible performance despite having strong internet connections. You know what? Fuck it. I take that back. This IS playing Kingdom Hearts on Google Stadia. The one thing that ultimately pisses me off is that this was the first time that the mainline Kingdom Hearts games would see a release on a Nintendo console. This will go down in infamy for being Square Enix's biggest bruh moment, second only to Balan Wonderworld. They should be ashamed of themselves. At least we have Kingdom Hearts: Melody of Memory on Switch. Don't worry, I'm only crying on the inside. Now, Square Enix are uncertain on bringing the game natively, so there might be some hope for Kingdom Hearts to come to Switch.
The footage was taken from Futurama: Bender's Big Game.