Toys (SNES) Playthrough - NintendoComplete
257A playthrough of Absolute Entertainment's 1993 license-based action game for the Super NES, Toys: Let the Toy Wars Begin!
Toys is an isometric "shooter" based on the Robin William's movie from 1992. Why it was turned into a game, I have no idea. My mind boggles at the possible conversations that might have prompted the creation of such a thing.
"Okay guys, we need a new game. What license can we get cheap that would appeal to kids?"
"Wasn't there a movie called Toys?"
"Was that really a kids' movie or are you just saying that because of the name?"
"Does it matter? Just don't forget to put guns and explosives in it. Kids love violence."
Ugh. So, the plot? Apparently your father, owner of a toy factory, is dying and has no faith in your ability to carry on his legacy. In order to make you grow up and prove yourself, he hires a nutjob military officer to wage war against you with an army of killer toys equipped with all manner of ordinance. If you live through the experience and take out the officer, apparently that means you've succeeded in becoming a responsible adult and can be deemed worthy of taking over the company.
In other words, your father hires someone to maim/kill you, and if you somehow survive and maim/kill your Rent-a-Soldier adversary before he gets you, you get the company. I guess police don't exist in this world.
Most of the game is a made up of large areas guarded by security cameras that have to be destroyed, but before you can get to them, you have to destroy all of the cameras' guard toys. Using things like a "peanut gun," spinning tops, and random wind-up figures wired with explosives, you work your way through and squirt water guns into the open mouths of the elephant-shaped cameras to disable them.
I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. It's really that dumb.
After you've cleared each of these areas, you then get dumped into an excruciatingly difficult flying sequence that must be cleared before you call your mission a success.
The plot, though inane and absurd, could have worked well enough with a decent game backing it, but we weren't that lucky. Imagineering's games tended to vary wildly in their quality, and Toys was more of a valley than a peak. Maybe an abyss.
Yes. Most definitely an abyss. You might call it abysmally abyssal, even.
The stages are all very repetitive, and the view is so zoomed in that you rarely get enough warning before being pelted with enemy fire unless you slowly screen scroll inch-by-inch.The weapons are infuriatingly impractical and unreliable, and the isometric perspective makes lining up shots far too frustrating to be fun. The final stage really takes the cake, though, with its iffy collision detection and giving the player a hitbox that's way too big to reasonably avoid taking damage with.
And this beautifully highlights the biggest problem with Toys. Everything about it seems to work directly against any fun you might have with it. It all feels frustrating and unfair, and little is done to make sure you find any joy in it. Some of the music was alright, but I can't muster much else positive to say here.
As much as I tried to find some redeeming quality in Toys, I just couldn't. There are certainly worse SNES games out there, but there are few that I wouldn't choose to play over this.
If you want a good toy-themed game, go play Toy Story or Clockwork Knight. They're both far more enjoyable than this drek.
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No cheats were used during the recording of this video.
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