[Helldivers 2] Hunting Factory Striders While Fighting God and Influenza
8Intro Briefing by Galactic War: • Of Automatons and Mega Cities — Helldivers...
Warbond Addiction Recovery Fund:
We failed the last Major Order. Flat-out FAILED. We bled ourselves dry on Gaellivare, finally pushed through by sheer stubbornness, only to turn around and lose Claorell in broad daylight. Now, Super Earth hands us a fresh Major Order like we're supposed to forget the last one was rigged from the start. And what’s our new objective? “Kill the monsters from citizen nightmares.” Oh sure. Easy. Totally manageable. Just kill 6.25 million Factory Striders and 3.75 million Leviathans in a WEEK. Do you understand how impossible that is?
We’d need two more weeks and a divine miracle to hit those numbers. We’re not liberating the galaxy anymore—we're grinding for PR metrics to keep Fort Sanctuary from becoming Fort Suicide Watch. I’ve personally Hellbombed four Factory Striders, saw one Leviathan, and accidentally got eaten by a Fleshmob that glitched into the floor. We're not saving anyone. We're playing mop-up duty for the propaganda ministry while bugdivers frolic through endless XP farms like it’s a damn summer vacation. You know what? Screw it. I’m gonna spend the next 3 days carpet bombing Claorell’s corpse until my Stratagem cooldown becomes my heart rate. If you want to join me in this factory-fueled fever dream of failure, then grab your Autocannon, load up the Rep-80, and bring a shovel for morale—because we’re digging our own graves now.
GLORY TO SUPER EARTH.