Duration: 1:11

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Visual Description: A woman addresses the camera. She's dressed in a pink sweatshirt/hoodie-style dress. She has brown hair worn back with pieces fallen loose at the front, and wears blue-rimmed eyeglasses that help her to see. There are grey curtains in the background.

Description: One thing that irks me is when people say something like "it's not a big deal" when I confront them about behaviour that's upsetting me. Here's the thing, if it was really "not a big deal", then the other person would have zero problem changing their behaviour. If an issue was really a non-issue or inconsequential, then the other person would have no problem changing their behaviour to accommodate me or my needs. Someone saying something is "not a big deal" and then ignoring requests to change that behavior is something that I've realized is a major red flag. Sometimes when people do that sort of stuff, they're either boundary-stomping, trying to "get under my skin", or they know they're in the wrong but don't want to apologize.

I feel like as a neurodiverse person I have a higher tolerance for this sort of behaviour/let things slide more than the general population would. I have a tendency to assume miscommunication issues in circumstances where other people would recognize pettiness or malice.