Game:

Counter-Strike: Source (2004)

Duration: 2:02

1,171 views

7

Okay! We saw this coming from the earlier menu screen and knew that our opponent here would be... uh... I'm sorry, what did you say, crazy P1-side voice person? Even with the advanced liberty of applying headphones to the audio itself, I can't really say as the pronunciation does much justice to the name of this... thing... creature? What the heck is a Broom Hatter anyway? It has no face! It barely has what I can discern as limbs! WHAT ARE YOU?!

If you can't tell, I seem to be stalling for time, because I don't want a repeat of Kabu's description wherein I felt like I was fumbling for words and unable to really gain any meaningful traction for describing anything at hand.

Well, that's entirely subjective... and, uh... I think it's probably clear that my idea of "writer's block" differs greatly from what most people would probably think of. So I tend to babble a bit more than usual and then we get weird introductions like this. And then the mass of words, like Nuisance Puyo, fall and crush anything or anyone foolish enough to be caught underneath. (Tremble!)

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Competition, Stage 4: Broom Hatter

Oh, what's this, an extremely weak but unbidden insult from Kirby? I'm shocked! This is outrageously... within expectations as created by character misbehavior in previous segments... so... yeah. All in a day's work, localization team! Way more normal and bearable than the magical girl-laden cast of Madou Monogatari.

What is it with puzzle games and a tendency towards (what's often summarily and unfairly labeled as) "girly" characters and visuals anyway? I mean, is it an ovecompensation by the genre to distance itself from the (not exactly) hypermasculine... games of... uh... action! And whatever? Because action puzzles are probably much more frantic and action-oriented than a good chunk of platformers out there, even at the more primitive and less hand-holding times that many of them originally came about in.. (Now who's summarily oversimplifying, huh?!)

In fact, there are certain action puzzles out there that are favored by the twitchy, frame-counting action freaks (I mean that in a totally affectionate manner... uh, platonically affectionately... we really don't often get along, but I respect the different mindset... you know what I mean!) above other games that aren't actually fighting games and thus don't offer as much frame-critical action and analysis, so really, action puzzles must be the most ubermanly game ever not to involve directly destroying the bodies of your enemies through wanton acts of violence. Yeah! Punch a rock! Kick some ass! Stack some geometric figures in regular patterns! Come at me, bro!

Uh... right... so... no. Not really. (Can you imagine, though?) It's a game, people! Play games! Play all kinds of games! I mean... if you like what they have to offer. (You heard me, do it.)

Okay, if I wasn't sure before, I'm definitely certain that these early AI scripts are based loosely upon conversion of their normal game behaviors into Puyo movements... and all it took was an opportunity to look at how they operate while I'm not saddled with the responsibility of tending over my own stack. In this case, Broom Hatter is always "sweeping" pieces to the sides before any other considerations until the extreme columns are completely filled.

Given the nature of the game... well, I think this is probably an even worse idea than Whispy's, because at least Whispy could stand to get some chained clears even by dumb luck... but to build a proper chain in this fashion would require considerable effort of matching together like colors instead of blindly dropping them according to a script.

On the upside, at least there are some upsides in spite of this quirk... for one thing, I guess technically any field-spanning Nuisance drops will have their full extent reduced by three fifths... which... uh... is really just looking for a bright side to things.

But not all is lost, as Broom Hatter is actually rather color coordinated when not driven by a single-minded obsession... it's just too bad that there's no real ambition behind that handy capability, because the end result is a constant jumping at the chance to make premature matches and eschew chains entirely, particularly since the rather... unique predilections for stacking pieces won't very often be at all helpful in that regard either.

So... again we continue with the trend of actually smarter AI with technically poorer skills, at least if we're to go by my after-the-fact, off-the-cuff, and shoot-from-the-hip snap judgments about it.

A purely cosmetic side effect of Broom Hatter's AI script is that it puts the P2 side of the field in nearly constant "panic" animation, which only makes the constant broom-pushing even more notable and furious. So... even if the AI is easier than it probably should be for this (relatively) advanced stage, it makes for a far more appropriate visual than it ought to.

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