Game:

Super Smash Bros. Brawl (2008)

Duration: 15:20

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4

And now for something completely different! I've been vexed of late trying to play Super Smash Bros. online, and I've been told that it's due to high traffic on Nintendo's Wi-Fi servers as a result of the launch of the Dream World for the Japanese releases for the new fifth generation Pokémon games, both before they went live while Nintendo was getting their servers ready for the increased strain and now because of the absolutely massive amounts of traffic generated. Maybe I should try to figure out what the relative peak times are and see if I can't plan around that.

Anyway, with that out of the way, I give you...local matches on some stages that I happen to have on hand. I went through a rather weird obsession during the week of Super Smash Bros. Brawl's launch and decided that I would try to make a stage...when in fact I ended up making three of them. I went through a similar fit of pent-up "creativity" and made two more some time later...plus I have the three that my long-time rival made, which are interesting...and confusing at the same time...but I like them well enough, so they get to stick around, too.

Oh, and LAM is just a poor, unfortunate bystander...a viable target to be subjected to these crazy stages, because I decided they would be an interesting change of pace to upload.

As to be expected, AI-controlled characters have varying degrees of success navigating these stages and obviously aren't gifted with the sort of lateral thinking required to deal with the crazier combinations of elements that an insane human could devise...some die unexpectedly and some fare surprisingly well under extreme duress.

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Match #1: Shafted (by Joou)
"Watch out below!"
Tetris: Type A

R.O.B. (Joou)
vs. Peach (LAM)
vs. Lucario
vs. Snake

This stage was actually conceived during my earliest phase of obsession...one with these falling block objects. If someone stands on one and it falls on top of somebody's head while they're jumping around, I believe it counts as a KO for the one who triggered the falling object, rather than whoever last struck that player.

But wait then, what's the point in having all the falling blocks blocks at the top of the stage? Obviously all the players will spend most of their time below, since it's much easier to fall down than it is to climb back up with a pack of ravenous brawlers in hot pursuit! Therein comes my plan of action that must seem awfully more nefarious in my mind than in actual practice: items will also trigger the blocks to fall, and most all the items will spawn where there's more ground...the falling blocks at the top, of course!

This is also one of my stages designed to keep the players alive longer, rather than for shorter durations...bouncing around spectacularly like pinball people, before finally plummeting to their eventual dooms from an overwhelming ricochet.

You may also notice that the sides are perfect for wall-jumping. I put those there as almost a dare for anybody to try it as often as possible, particularly in cases when the camera is panned all the way to the bottom of the stage...in the simple hopes that an item would cause the block to fall and doom them. I haven't played with enough actual humans here to see anybody use these things particularly effectively as weapons, though.

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Match #2: Clockwork Crisis (by Joou)
"Jump well, or else!"
WarioWare, Inc. Medley

Ganondorf (Joou)
vs. Kirby (LAM)
vs. Pit
vs. Ness

This stage marks the other insane obsession...one that I picked up while I was brainstorming the actual particulars for Shafted. I was pretty much just playing around with the notion of making use of more ridiculous ideas I get by looking at the more gimmicky stage design objects.

The cardinal rule of my stage designs is that they must all be navigable according to what I call the Bowser/Peach Rule...which is to say even characters with poor jumping ability should be able to comfortably traverse the stage under their own power. Some stages are hard enough for anybody to get around in, much less those with low jumps, but I demand at least that it be equal-opportunity in that regard. Everybody must have a hard time, but nobody must be completely ruled out.

I am an agent of chaos. I believe in stages without solid floors...ones where people are required to aim to KO their adversaries in a particular direction...and especially ones that force you to make a constant choice between your own continued existence and ending the existences of those around you...or both at the same time. You and your opponents are all uneasy allies against the stage itself, but at the same time, each player should want to make that gutsy thrust for personal gain and destruction of their rivals. You must hunger for victory at any cost, but little do you know that the house always wins.

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