The Grace Card Why Common Sense Isn't Actually Common and What That Means for Kingdom Leadership
0Top o' the Mornin' to Ya!
TLDR: Discover why "common sense" isn't as common as we think and how this understanding can transform your leadership from judgment to grace. Learn to extend the same patience Jesus shows us when others miss the obvious, and how to create spaces where people can process mistakes with love rather than condemnation.
What?
Do you have common sense? Do you have all of the common sense? I think common sense keeps getting thrown around because looking backwards, 20/20 hindsight has that clarity of vision. I find myself thinking, "Why doesn't everybody have common sense?"
As I dug into that thought, I realized common sense would fill volumes and volumes and volumes. There's this much common sense available, and we can't consciously have it all. Our unconscious probably has it, but consciously we can't have it all ready in the moment. We have common sense in the areas we prepare for, the areas we train for, the areas we listen to, the areas we think are important.
This reminded me of my 13 years as a ski racing coach. I would sit at the bottom of the hill while kids did their training runs. They'd come down after totally missing the thing they were working on, stop in front of me, and we would just nod. Then they'd ski away.
Another coach came to me one day and asked what I was doing. I explained: they know what they're working on, they know they missed it. I didn't have a big piece of wisdom to offer them. I just put out grace that says, "You know what you're doing, athlete. You are an expert practicing this five, six days a week to be the best you can be."
Sometimes I had something helpful to offer, sometimes there was a little tip that would make the difference, but sometimes it just needed a redo. The athlete knew where they were at, what they were doing, where they were heading. I was just offering grace.
Why?
This experience revealed something crucial about leadership and human nature: the library of common sense is enormous. It goes to the three circles of territory - what do you know about, what do you care about, and what can you do something about? Common sense fits in that "know about" area, but there's common sense everywhere and we can't have it all ready in our hand.
That's why we hear ourselves asking, "How did they even do that? How did that person say that? How did that person treat me that way?" We think common sense should prevent all that, but the reality is that all those pieces of wisdom are simple and small, and they make perfect sense - now, after the event has happened, after the challenge, after the mistake, after the miss of common sense.
When we feel burned, judgmental, or above somebody, that little voice says, "If they had common sense, they would've never done that. That's just stupid." But this reveals our own lack of grace rather than their lack of wisdom.
Lesson
The next time you feel burned, judgmental, or above somebody because they missed something that seems obvious to you, pull out your grace card. Jesus pulled it out for us. The person who made the "common sense error" probably already knows where they missed it. We don't have to be the one to tell them - they probably know already.
If they don't know, we can deliver that information with love and grace. But more importantly, once they have it, how can we be love for them in processing the challenge, processing the error, processing the offense they made, processing the damage that was done - in a loving way that builds God's kingdom?
Just like those ski racers who knew they'd missed their technique, most people are aware when they've fallen short of what they should have done. They don't need judgment; they need grace and support in processing and growing from the experience.
This understanding transforms our leadership from being the "common sense police" to being agents of grace who create safe spaces for people to acknowledge mistakes, learn, and grow without condemnation.
Apply
Think about a recent situation where you felt judgmental because someone lacked what seemed like obvious common sense. Write down in the Doobly Doo: How could you have extended grace instead of judgment in that situation?
Consider this week: when you encounter someone who's made a mistake or missed something obvious, practice the "nod" approach. Resist the urge to point out their error and instead offer grace that acknowledges their capability and expertise. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is simply be present without adding to their awareness of falling short.
You be blessed!
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If you want to come together with a group of men in mastermind to share common sense and have a place where you can mess up your common sense and receive loving, caring guidance together as Christian husbands, fathers, and leaders, go to https://brian.chat/ and let's have a conversation about Mastermind.
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