The Mirror of Leadership How Your Triggers Reveal Your Blind Spots
0Top o' the Mornin' to Ya!
When someone's behavior consistently frustrates you, it's often a mirror reflecting your own unconscious patterns. Perception is projection - what triggers us in others is usually what's unresolved in us. Kingdom Family Leaders must catch these projections to build genuine relationships and lead with authentic wisdom.
I was in a mastermind session where a member kept cycling through the same pattern for months - designing programs without clients, redefining ideal clients, researching niches, making lists to call. It looked productive but then he'd start over. Redesign again, redefine again, research another niche.
Frustration built inside me as I listened. Finally I said, "You've got to stop this busy work and just talk to actual people." Right then it hit me like a freight train - that's exactly what I needed to do. I'd been doing the same thing: building systems, creating content, perfecting processes, but avoiding the very conversations I was telling him to have.
I caught myself projecting my own avoidance pattern onto him. My frustration wasn't about his behavior - it was seeing my own reflection in his actions.
This reveals a powerful barrier to authentic leadership. When we unconsciously overlay our unresolved patterns onto others, we miss opportunities to help effectively and address our own blind spots. This keeps us "in effect" instead of "at cause."
The enemy uses this against successful Christian men constantly. If he can keep us projecting our stuff onto others, we'll never build deep, transformative relationships that lead to breakthrough. We end up isolated, surrounded by people we're trying to fix instead of brothers we're growing with.
Perception is projection shows up everywhere: In marriage when your wife seems too emotional, you might project discomfort with processing feelings. In business when team members appear uncommitted, you could project fears about not working hard enough. When someone seems fake, you might project your own vulnerability struggles.
The Kingdom Family Leader path requires blessing ourselves first, including taking ownership of projections. When we see clearly without unresolved pattern filters, we can expand territory through genuine relationships and serve His kingdom through authentic connection rather than unconscious judgment.
Think of someone who consistently triggers frustration. Write three specific behaviors that irritate you. Now ask honestly: "How might I be doing these same things?" Look for patterns, even if they show up differently.
When you recognize projection, shift from effect to cause. Ask: "What action do I need to take in my own life?" Then take that action this week.
You be blessed!
Ready to break free from isolation patterns and build authentic brotherhood? https://brian.chat/
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