Game:

Rad Racer (1987)

Duration: 1:30

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6

In this super serious and not-at-all facetious, satirical, or falsified video, I talk about the 100% true and complete and non-false history of the creation of Final Fantasy. How did the series start? Who was the driving force behind the project? And why do so many of the men in Final Fantasy look like women? All these questions and more will be answered. Much more. Almost too much more. Including things you never cared to hear about or even associated with video games.

Full Transcript:

The mid-late 1980's were a hard time for Square soft. Its ties with parent company Denyusha Electric had been severed, and none of its simplistic Famicom games had managed to gain any traction.

So they did what nay failing software company would do. They hired a guy who dropped out of college because of his Ultima habit and asked him to make and RPG to rival the popular Dragon Quest games. Fortunately for Square, the dropout they hired was Hironobu Sakaguchi, a man with little regard for human life, and a single-minded pursuit of his goals. Except for college. This tenacity combined with his demon-like personality made him unpopular among his colleagues and subordinates. Yet, faced with imminent bankruptcy, Square's board gave him control of all their remaining funds. He was their last hope.

And so Sakaguchi began work on his "Final Fantasy", a lesbian sex simulator of the same name. When corporate got word of what he was making, they were angry. Angry and aroused. They left Sakaguchi in charge of the project, but not without an ultimatum. If Final Fantasy was not a commercial success, and not an RPG, the man would have to repent for his disgrace in the only way traditional Japanese society deemed appropriate. By going back to university.

For the first time in his life, Sakaguchi needed help. So he assembled an A-team of the seven most ruthless Japanese businessmen west of Osaka. Incidentally, they were also the only seven guys at Square who could tolerate him for more than five minutes. And so, he put them to work on converting his lesbian fantasy into a fighting fantasy.

Making use of blackmail, deceit, and intimidation, Sakaguchi was able to rope the rest of the company into working on the game with him. With the fate of the company at stake, and the lack of faith they had in Sakaguchi and his team, they had no choice but to comply. The deadline was harsh, but through tactful use of worker's rights violations, they were able to meet it. And thus, Final Fantasy was born... And three years later was localized and sold in North America.

Sources:
1980's: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:1980s_replacement_montage02.PNG
Final Fantasy Logo: http://www.n3dsworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/FinalFantasyLogo-1-1.jpg
Squaresoft Logo: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/df/Square_Soft_logo.png
Kalin no Tsurugi: http://dqw.main.jp/graph/BOOK/karin_02.JPG
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRL1McBPNB8
Rad Racer: http://iv1.lisimg.com/image/194940/600full-rad-racer-cover.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiHhWIrNUUA
JJ: Tobidase Daisakusen Part II: http://img.gamefaqs.net/box/8/4/9/40849_front.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiHhWIrNUUA
Brother Sharp (homeless guy): http://www.instablogs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/195220_1378501_1kGX9_30712.jpg
Ultima: http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/ultima/Ultima%20I%20First%20Age%20of%20Darkness/ultima1cover%20-%20Originremake.jpg
Dragon Quest: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0HUIUSllEqc/TgYFPsfL2lI/AAAAAAAAA3s/y_srzgbt0jA/s1600/DragonQuestI.jpg
Darth Vader: http://www.ahalffast.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/darth-vader-face.jpg
http://blogossus.com/2012/04/01/a-new-hope-the-influence-of-faith/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zzs-OvfG8tE
Conferring the masters degree: https://www.flickr.com/photos/osucommons/5100748062
Feral Chaos: http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110905124356/finalfantasy/images/5/5e/Feral_Chaos.png
Seppuku: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ec/Seppuku-2.jpg
Tokyo University: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5d/University_of_Tokyo_-_K omaba_Campus_-_Building_1.JPG
Final Fantasy I Orb: http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120626083212/finalfantasy/images/d/d6/NES_FF1_Graphic.png
Uncle Sam: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f3/Uncle_Sam_%28pointing_finger%29.jpg
Child worker: https://www.flickr.com/photos/usnationalarchives/7496272192
North America: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/29/North_America_satellite_orthographic.jpg
Tokimeki Memorial:
http://gallery.minitokyo.net/view/523706
http://img.gamefaqs.net/screens/3/d/b/gfs_18235_2_37.jpg

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