DON'T BUY THIS GAME! A Funny Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth Micro-Review
5A funny Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth Review for Steam in 30 seconds by a sarcastic Canadian who talks fast and GENUINELY tries not to hate the things you love. No spoilers and transcript included in description.
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Transcript: You know, I’ve said it before: What is the obsession of Japanese gamers with Valkyries?
To answer my own question, the Norwegian legend equivalent of school girls beating the shit out of monsters. Joke’s on them, though, because this game actually only has one Valkyrie and she’s played straight throughout the somber story as less giddy jail-bait and more broken spinster looking for death. Apparently Square was always desperate to prove they could do something besides turn-based combat because what is a shitty remade-action game in 2022 is in 1999 a shitty remade psudo-platformer. Actual turn-based combat has some wrinkles in it and the pixel art is nice and expressive so I’m looking forward to the eventual remake of this remake that will play just as bad but looks fucked up anyway. Skip.