Game:

F-Zero (1990)

Duration: 16:50

95 views

3

Words are very unnecessary:
twitter.com/yuugijoou
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(They can only do harm.)

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So, my white whale since the game launched has just been trying to unlock all the courses I can possibly race on before I get kinda obsessive and weird and decide to try doing time trials against them and figure out what the actual best way to race on them is.

No, no. Before ANY of that, you gotta race 'em! Practice never made ANYONE perfect at anything! Not even passable! It's utterly impractical, I tells ya!

... ... ...do you think maybe this has something to do with my generally lackluster performance at stuff like this?

Nah, couldn't be.

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Honestly, Grand Prix is the most fun the game gets, and it actually gives you the proper opportunity to interact with ALL the game's mechanics, not just the ones that'll get you to go-- oh, look at that, the race is already over... ... ... should we queue up another one?

At the game's launch, there was ONLY the Knight League, and it was ONLY available every other hour for a few minutes to let people queue up and spend their hard-earned race tickets on something bigger than a simple race on a simple circle full of simple spacefaring folk who just wanna go fast.

My only gripe is that you HAVE to get to the VERY end if you want to see the final track on any given cup, and by then only 20 out of the 99 who signed on will be permitted to drive at all. And doing THAT is the only way to add that track to your repertoire of known practice venues.

As such, Silence has escaped me for weeks.

Mostly because of Death Wind I. Which might as well be Baby Park. (With wind. Death optional.) You have no real object here besides "hit all the zippers" and "don't mess up"... which is the least engaging form of race the game can possibly offer. Unfortunately.

All I can really say is... pony up, and then don't choke!

... ... ...especially don't squander your having made it THIS far on a race with absolutely NO disqualifications... except for if you happen to explode. In which case, sorry, you've gotta do it AGAIN to get the special paint pattern JUST for the vehicle you brought in with you.

...oops.

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Fun bonus! It was even MORE agitating because they absolutely didn't run ANY Grand Prix OTHER than Queen League for the weekend of its introduction, meaning I had NO CHOICE but to unlock White Land II before Silence.

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By contrast, I had the Queen League Grand Prix on lock within days of its introduction, because all of the tracks contained within it are... like... actually tracks. For racing. Even Port Town I. At least there's something to DO there before you hit the overly long straightaway. I was complaining about just this very day, so many days after I had meant to complain about it. Oops?

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