Game:

F-Zero (1990)

Duration: 21:00

264 views

6

Originally streamed at:
twitch.tv/yuugijoou

I've... got boost power?
twitter.com/yuugijoou
discord.gg/bKT9pRW

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So, this is a game. Honestly, I'm shocked it took me THIS long to realize that the original F-Zero, with its ongoing numerical ranking qualification system AND general tendency to obliterate racing machines... that it was all but MADE to catch the wave of massive simultaneous player count battle royale elimination play.

The only problem is... I'm still not very good at it. There's an entire playlist dedicated to highlighting my subsonic speed deficiency:    • F-Zero  

That said... I'm going to go out on a limb and boldly declare... ... ... that it's actually NOT (entirely) my fault.

F-Zero is an astonishingly robust and complex racing game, even from its inception. Not because it's inherently complicated to control or that the physics are unreasonable or otherwise impenetrable.

Somewhat counterintuitively, it's exactly because the basic building blocks are so "simple" that a firm grasp of how they all fit together is ultimately rather deceptively evasive.

And every installment since has managed to add more... "MORE" to the series without damaging this core principle.

You "just" need to modulate your speed by way of turning, accelerating, and decelerating. Oh, but you can also edge sideways slightly... which you can also do while turning. Which doesn't necessarily sound or feel like much, but it can give you a shocking degree of extra nuance in your handling.

Even though the whole point is PROBABLY just "turn better!"

... ... ...oh right, you've also got BOOST POWER!

You can trade a slice of your energy gauge for a burst of more speed. What is energy, and how does it matter? Without it, you die. Well, violently explode, more like. IF something touches you when the gauge is empty. So it's also a DEATH race, and any driver can just be eliminated the old fashioned way with good ol' (virtualized) violence. (Video games!)

All this is pretty straightforward in a vacuum, and taken separately, it might be easy to dismiss F-Zero as simplistic... but these mechanics DO all add up to something greater than the sum these parts.

And THAT is why I'm bad at F-Zero.

I swear.

That's it!

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I'd also like to point out the very real irony that even with all that... I actually only managed to place second in the end.

My high-octane space jockey career ended before it even began!

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