[Helldivers 2] Tyranny Park 2: Already Requesting Orbital Strikes on the Gift Shop
6Intro Briefing by The Galactic War: • Tyranny Park 2 — Helldivers 2 briefing ins...
Warbond Addiction Recovery Fund:
Alright, listen up, Helldiver— you think you’ve seen bad? You think you’ve seen stupid? Try sitting through a Super Earth high-command briefing where they seriously pitch Tyranny Park 2 with a straight face—yes, the same failed, catastrophic, bug-infested nightmare theme park from the first time we tried it. And now they want us—Botdivers, the only ones with functioning trigger discipline—to clean up the mess while they sell plush bugs to schoolchildren and pump propaganda through the gift shop speakers.
First, we’ve gotta secure Bore Rock, because apparently, some bright-eyed marketing intern decided kids won’t buy Terminid plushies unless they’re "authentically sourced" from a warzone. Then it’s liberate Crimsica—not because it’s strategically vital, not because the Automatons are about to glass it, but because the fleet’s fuel tanks run on the backs of genetically engineered, perpetually grumpy bugs. We’re basically running interstellar logistics for a war economy built on insect labor.
And then… oh, then comes the real kicker. You'd better pray to the Managed Democracy that when Tyranny Park 2 inevitably goes full xeno-outbreak, you’re not the one pulling night shift security. You think night vision helps when a two-story mantis decides your torso is a snack? You think management is gonna authorize an orbital strike in the middle of the Ferris wheel? No, they’re gonna tell you to "contain the incident" and "minimize civilian casualties" while the CEO finishes his ribbon-cutting speech.
So yeah, I’ll defend Super Earth. I’ll follow my orders. I’ll plant my boots in the mud, fire until the barrel’s glowing red, and railcannon anything that twitches—but the second I see a bug wearing a souvenir T-shirt, I’m calling in every orbital strike in my kit and sending this whole corporate fever dream back to the Stone Age.