Outsmart Callous Family Dynamics And Overcome Trauma
114Did you know some family trauma is created because of a cold, callous family member who never got help?
*Here are 5 things you need to avoid when dealing with a cold, callous family member who could be considered a narcissist:
1. Creating a narcissistic injury: a narcissistic injury is essentially an injury to one's ego. The insecurity you may feel when someone calls you out on something, is similar to a narcissistic injury. The ONLY difference is that the narcissist cannot stand your behavior towards them and will internalize their emotions until an opportune time to lash out, get you back, or engage in passive-aggressive behaviors. Their anger towards you may not come out until weeks, months, and maybe even years later.
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2. Match wits: there is no reason to match wits with a narcissistic family member. Just assume they want to come out looking great no matter what. Some narcissists will engage in lies or altered truths because they don't want to look unintelligent, "small," or uninformed.
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3. Don't talk about your feelings: Most narcissists don't care and it's very easy to pick up on this if you test the waters a few times. If you were to say something like: "when I was 12 I couldn't believe how insecure I was. I just didn't think much of myself...." A narcissistic family member may reply "well that was then and this is now. Don't worry about those things. They don't matter any way."
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4. Treat the relationship like a business relationship: Keep the facts in the forefront, don't engage in emotional conversations, and keep your boundaries.
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5. Avoid emotional reasoning or bringing up how they made you feel: Statements like "you made me feel like a fool" OR "how could you do this to me in front of our neighbors?" OR "why would you bring that up at that time?" should be avoided.
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