Cutting Ties With Toxic Family: 6 Essential Insights You Need

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Támara Hill, MS NCC CCTP LPC

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Published on January 24, 2024 12:59:33 AM ● Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HB2nWthwmI

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Cutting ties with unhealthy and toxic family can be difficult to do because of the way society teaches us we should be with family.

The world believes wholeheartedly in the saying "family is everything!"
And while a healthy family is an absolutely beautiful thing, not everyone can relate to this.

Once you leave a family member or a family dynamic, you are likely to encounter some behaviors that may prove shocking to you.

***Some of these behaviors include:
1. The chameleon affect: family will change their colors and shape to win you back. Be mindful, however, that some family members may want to take responsibility for their behaviors and apologize to you and make things right. Try to be open to this too.

2. Family members who don't know you that well may "coach" you back into the family to appease someone else or test your boundary.

3. Triangulation: Some family members may feel like they are either losing you or losing control of the situation and go to other family members who they feel are "safe" to talk to. This can result in that other person teaming up against you, helping that family member manipulate you, or may get involved and make everything worse.

4. Diffusion of responsibility: a form of diffusion of responsibility may happen where everyone kind of stands back and watches the toxic situation ignight in flames but refuses to budge to help because "perhaps someone else will fix this."

5. Prying hands: some family may try their hardest to either get details to gossip about, information they can then manipulate themselves, or pieces of the truth to help. Whether the intention is good or bad, it's not healthy when family members pry.

6. Regret, doubts, shame: it's normal to feel some shame, regrets, and doubt. Who wants to walk away from their family members? Who wants to share this information with the world? It's normal to feel this way.
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