Game:

Whac-A-Mole (2005)

Duration: 0:38

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Original Air Date: June 28th, 2009

So after being reminded about this game and having had my soul tortured for never seeing this game to the end in one form or another (correction to my previous statement, I got to stage four, not stage five), I decided to see what I could do about it. After several hours of torture, I finally completed the game. I just HAD to know if the ending sucked or if it even had one.

Well, the good news is, it has an ending and it certainly sucks and is not worth the value of your soul. The bad news is that you'll never see it under ordinary circumstances. I see now why they thought no one would ever see the end.

Each level gets faster and you have to whack more critters. That seems self-explanatory, but considering how many people can't clear the first level, you'd have to wonder just how much faster things get. Well, the final level is the easiest one ironically, but the next-to-last level is almost impossible. You have to whack 180 critters, many of which take four or five hits to register as one clear strike. They move way too fast for any ordinary human, so I had to stop playing on a console and see if it could be emulated. Well, the rumors about the game's copy protection is true; It IS hard to emulate. I think they didn't want it emulated so people could never beat it. Well, after some trial and error, I got the game to run (buggy) in an emulator.

That wasn't enough though... the game is still impossible and the emulator I used couldn't slow the game down, so I used a bloated screen recording feature to slow the game down to about 15 frames per second. Still with me? It was hard even at only 10-15 frames to beat the level. After you beat it, you're taken to a semi-level, the final level.

It's not much of a level and can be done at normal speed... but don't take it for granted. If you lose, you have to start THE PREVIOUS level over again. So by some gods miracle you beat it normally and screw up the last level, you have to do it over again. Fantastic. This was a colossal waste of time, but this and the game sample should be more than enough to wager if you want the game and I went through a lot of trouble so you don't have to. There might have been Game Genie codes out there to get by some other way, but I wouldn't have gotten an accurate feel for the "impossibility" of the next-to-last level. Another mystery solved. The diaper hero is getting some tonight!

Thanks for you playing.