Trauma Bonds & The Grip Of Chaos In Relationships
36Trauma bonds and relationships are complex and they often involve one dominant person and a "weaker" individual who is holding on to what they believe is love.
Trauma bonds can happen in ALL relationships. In fact, trauma bonds between a parent and a child or a guardian and a child can be one of the most complicated relationships to get out of.
One reason is because parent-child relationships tend to be one of automatic belief in unconditional love, kindness, and a strong need to protect as the parent or guardian.
When a parent or guardian does not live up to this image and the relationship tends to be abusive, trauma bonds are likely to be built through this.
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EXAMPLE OF PARENTAL TRAUMA BOND:
For example, lets say that you have always believed that your father could do no wrong. You loved him even though he didn't put you first and seemed to be happy being alone. One day you decide to confront him about the relationship you feel is lacking. Your father experiences a narcissistic injury and begins to berate you, laugh at you, minimize your feelings, and raise his tone of voice to intimdate you.
You leave the situation and decide you will never be talked to like this again. But...because you love your father and want things to work out you answer the phone and your father proceeds to apologize and tell you how much he loves you. Sadly, 1 month later, the same thing happens and you are left feeling hurt, disregarded, and angry.
Instead of walking away, you decide to hold on to hope that your father will change and that he will never put you through this again because, afterall, he did tell you that he loves you and didn't mean anything by the last argument.
This cycle can go on and on and on like this for many years.
***Join me Saturday as I discuss trauma bonds.
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