Game:

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1993)

Duration: 6:13

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2

Instead of just flying into a rage and throwing obscenities in all directions, I'll just deliver pretty much what I was saying during the recording of this.

Yes, I was talking to myself, but then what do you expect from a drunk?


"What..? Where's the sound? Great, it's a fucking silent game. Oh wait, there is sound, just no actual theme music. How shitty of them."
*fucks around with the options*
"Yeah, hard mode for pros... Ok, doesn't seem that bad yet... jumping's crap though, feels sloppy. Jesus this music is annoying... Fucking hell, this music is shit!"
*minutes later*
"Why the fuck am I fighting Dracula's shadow? How do rocks hurt it? WHY do they hurt it? Who cares, bastard's dead now anyway. Ok, Castle Dr-.. what the fuck, why is it full of lava? How do I get up there? Maybe I go do-... nope, that kills you. You mean I'm stuck? Can't be, that's bullshit. But what do I do? Now random shit's spawning everywhere and I can't go anywhere! What do I do? WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?!"

This game amounts to the digital equivalent of rectal discharge. I don't care if there's comedy to be had in laughing at the name 'Fred Fuchs'.